Nowadays many young people are attracted to dangerous sport such as snowboarding or mountain biking. What makes these sports so attractive? What measures should be taken to minimize the risks?
In recent days a lot of teenagers choose potentially harmful kinds of
sports
such
as snowboarding or mountain biking. The main reason why they do this
is the feeling of achieving and mastery. Education and training can be observed as the main solution which can be helpful for the elimination of the risks of such
harmful activity.
A lot of young people want to achieve outstanding results in extreme kinds of sports
. This
kind of mastering can produce an exciting impression on society and a wonderful feeling of achievement. In other words
, this
sort of feedback is necessary for youngsters in terms of supporting their self-esteem. This
is because social nets, such
as Instagram provide an opportunity to demonstrate dangerous sports
accomplishments to a wide number of people and get common admiration and greetings. For instance
, the young generation can post pictures and videos of crazy things and become a hero among their friends. Consequently
, that sort of behaviour often brings to traumas or even death.
Training and education can be the best solution to this
matter. Well-educated teenagers can eliminate possibility of the harmful effects. Mastering achieved under the control of a professional teacher can be helpful in avoiding injuries. On the other hand
, right psychologically trained young person would not postering over the limit and would be able to keep self-concentration and focus on security measures. Moreover
, strict prohibition of harmful sports
activity without training certification can reduce the potential number of casualties. For example
, mandatory Everest Mountain climbing for non-trained rock climbers helped to decrease the number of deaths by 17 per cent in 1982.
To sum up
, the main reason for doing harmful kinds of sports
is to achieve self-esteem support. The training and study of extreme sports
with mandatory participation without qualification can be applied as the main solution to this
issue.Submitted by tarasovnn on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Make sure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction and conclusion must restate the essay question and summarize your main points. Your essay had an introduction and a conclusion, but they could be more clearly delineated and more reflective of the essay's content.
content
Develop your paragraphs with clear main ideas and support each point with specific examples or details. Your essay touches on relevant points but lacks depth in development and specificity in examples provided.
cohesion
Ensure logical sequencing of ideas and use a range of cohesive devices to help the reader follow your argument. While you've attempted to connect your ideas, transitions between them can be smoother, and the overall cohesion of the essay can be improved.
task response
Address all parts of the task sufficiently. The essay provides an overview of why young people are drawn to extreme sports and how risks could be mitigated, but more details and development are necessary to completely satisfy the task requirements.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!