IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Define the term “globalization” and explain the pros and cons of the effects of globalization. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Before the 20th century,
people
Use synonyms
 were usually living in restricted areas.
Then
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, transportation and communication became popular with technological developments and the interaction between
people
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 increased significantly.
Globalization
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 means the increasing integration of all the countries without restrictions on their boundaries.
Globalization
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 has both benefits and drawbacks. The main advantage of
globalization
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 comes from the idea of preventing conflicts between countries and
people
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. Most industries and sectors change depending on the inside or outside of the country. If the main language
would be
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were
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 the same all over the world, there would be no language conflicts between the
people
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 who were born anywhere.
For instance
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,
although
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 some racist
people
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 will always exist in the world,
globalization
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maybe can
Wrong verb form
may
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 decrease the number of racist
people
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 because most
people
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 will feel similar emotions and ideas in the long term
such
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 as in the USA.
Globalization
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 brings
such
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 an enormous drawback which can be called monotonous.
People
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are getting resembling
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resemble
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each other both
physical
Change the word
physically
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 and
psychological
Change the word
psychologically
show examples
. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
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first glance, it
maybe does
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may
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 not look like a disadvantage
however
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 it takes away the uniqueness of
people
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 which indicates your identity.
For example
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, the number of aesthetic operations is climbing enormously. Even though
people
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 feel better themselves by having aesthetic surgeries, they will have similar physical appearances after the surgeries.
In addition
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 to physical impacts,
globalization
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also
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 is a threat to the variety of different languages. It aims to have a common language to communicate so that the local languages will be eliminated one by one.
To conclude
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,
globalization
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 has both positive and negative effects on countries and among the
people
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.

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Task Response
The essay addresses the topic of globalization and discusses its pros and cons. Make sure to provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points to further support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the main points. Try to strengthen the connection between ideas within paragraphs for better coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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