IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think investment in art is necessary, but others say money is better spent on public services and facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

it is considered by some
people
Use synonyms
 that many
governments
Use synonyms
 spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 . Because ars is essential for human life . But
on the other hand
Linking Words
 , others say
money
Use synonyms
 is better spent on public services and facilities. İn my opinion , many
countries
Use synonyms
 struggle with wars and poverty in the world . İf spent
money
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 will be decreased by
governments
Use synonyms
 and
this
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 will spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these
countries
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 and many
countries
Use synonyms
 will be rescued .
Firstly
Linking Words
 , many
people
Use synonyms
 think
investment
Use synonyms
 in
art
Use synonyms
 is necessary .
art
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 provides many things
such
Linking Words
 as
finish
Replace the word
finishing
show examples
 depression and
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 happier
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 human life .
However
Linking Words
 ,
governments
Use synonyms
 and
investments
Change the noun form
investment
show examples
 owners spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 , and
thus
Linking Words
 many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
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 where live many troubles can't be rescued from trouble .
For instance
Linking Words
 , a human who
live
Change the verb form
lives
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 in
Add an article
a
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poor country will
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 life level if
governments
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 or
investments
Change the noun form
investment
show examples
 owners will spend
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 poor
countries
Use synonyms
 , and
thus
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 who live
much
Change preposition
in much
show examples
 trouble can be rescued .
Secondly
Linking Words
 , some
people
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 think
investment
Use synonyms
 in
art
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 is unnecessary and according to
they
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
, spent
money
Use synonyms
 should be provided
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other things
such
Linking Words
 as education and
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
. İn my opinion ,
this
Linking Words
 idea is true . Many
people
Use synonyms
 who don't have the right education or live
much
Change preposition
in much
show examples
 trouble can be rescued thanks to
this
Linking Words
 spent
money
Use synonyms
 .
For instance
Linking Words
 , a child who
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
ha
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
 not to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right education won't
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a good career in future if
governments
Use synonyms
 still
continue
Add the particle
tocontinue
show examples
 spend their
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 . İn conclusion , some
people
Use synonyms
 think
investment
Use synonyms
 in
art
Use synonyms
 is necessary and some
people
Use synonyms
 think
investment
Use synonyms
 in
art
Use synonyms
 is unnecessary . İn my opinion , many
people
Use synonyms
 struggle with wars and poverty. These
people
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 can be rescued if spent
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
art
Use synonyms
 will be decreased by
investmnets
Correct your spelling
investments
investment
 owners or
governments
Use synonyms
.

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