IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Human activity has damaged the environment all around the world. Some people think that humans cannot stop damaging the planet where as other believe that we can alter our behaviour and prevent future damage. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#activity #environment #world #people #humans #planet #behaviour #future #damage
Nowadays, our planet is heavily affected by human activities. A small portion of the world believes that it is not possible to prevent nature from destroying but others think , there are some possibilities to overcome it. In
this
 essay , I will discuss both views and will give my impression of them. First of all , a small group argue that protecting our environment from damage is unimaginable
due to
 overusing it. In
this
 ,era people are running to make their life better and they are misusing nature.
For example
, people cut a number of trees daily
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 good furniture but they are not replanting them as they believe that ,
that is
 the responsibility of others.
Secondly
, people say they are not getting enough time to recover it .
In contrast
, others think definitely it is possible to prevent
making
Verb problem
apply
show examples
harm to
mother earth
Correct your spelling
Mother Earth
show examples
 through some methods.
Firstly
, it is essential to give some awareness classes to the public.
By
Change preposition
This
show examples
this
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can help to make them understand the needs of nature and what are the consequences if it is not protected.
Moreover
, governments and other authorities should encourage the public by introducing good methods to save the earth .
For instance
, the Government of Kerala started a new system called 'My
tree
Capitalize word
Tree
show examples
' in all schools, where children are gifted a plant every year ,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
 have to plant and maintain it throughout their lifetime. Children had to maintain a dairy for the whole year, some it
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 them more concerned about the plant and
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
 them to know its value. In conclusion, I believe that it is essential to save our earth for our future from all manmade harm by giving awareness classes to society and making them understand the
repercussion
Fix the agreement mistake
repercussions
show examples
 if it is not sheltered .
Submitted by rinirosejohnson on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the structure by organizing your ideas more clearly. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more substantial and coherent. Support your main points with specific examples and evidence.
task achievement
Address the topic more comprehensively, providing a more balanced discussion of both views. Use clear and specific examples to support your ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: