IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People in the limelight have a responsibility to set an example for others by their good behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that famous individuals who are able to influence the community are responsible for exemplifying  themselves through decent
etiquettes
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etiquette
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. I totally agree with the claim regarding responsibility even though it may deleteriously affect
celebrity
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celebrities
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 private lives
as well as
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 not being able to be themselves as it can be compromised for the
benefits
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benefit
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society. Opposers may argue that, by having to set a model in the public eye, influencers will be deprived of their privacy,
thus
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 being imposed of an invisible insecurity about themselves. It is,
however
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, vital to acknowledge that, if these individuals can conduct whatever act they want, they will detrimentally impact their followers, especially children who are most susceptible to bad habits.
Furthermore
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, quintessential
behaviors
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behaviours
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 are the propellers that push
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society forward and acquire higher
standard
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standards
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,
therefore
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, these people are the most likely to accomplish
such
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feat
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feats
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 by showing good
behaviors
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behaviours
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 when confronting the public. Advocates of non-responsible celebrities may
also
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 propose that in able to attain good reviews from the public, famous people may have to impersonate a false identity in which they can no longer be themselves, thereby losing their true
self
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selves
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 afterwards.
Nevertheless
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, whether these individuals have to portray another character is entirely dependent upon themselves. If they inherently possess good
behavior
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behaviour
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, it is redundant for
such
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act
Correct article usage
an act
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,
whereas
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 if they do not, they can attempt to improve themselves,
hence
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 being a better human being.
For instance
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, a number of
Youtubers
Correct your spelling
YouTubers
 have found themselves improving as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result of realizing how influential they are to their viewers and the
needs
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need
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 for accountability. In conclusion, incurring
such
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 a responsibility means that a private part of their life will no longer
secure
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be secure
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, and there is a risk for dissociative identity disorder,
however
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, given that positive ramifications take precedence over detrimental
one
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ones
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 as it provides the community with greater benefits, I strongly agree that
this
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 should be applied to all influencers.

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coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is clear and follows a good flow of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion need improvement in terms of clarity and coherence. Ensure that there is a clear introduction that outlines the main ideas and a conclusion that effectively summarizes the argument.
task response
The essay provides a complete response to the task given, with clear and comprehensive ideas. However, to improve task achievement, make sure to provide more specific examples to support the arguments and strengthen the overall response.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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