IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries married couples plan to have a baby later stage age due to the demands of their professional career. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of it and give your opinion

#countries #couples #plan #baby #stage #age #demands #career
People in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 nations tend to become
parents
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
taking
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
 after their marriage. There could be various reasons for each couple.
This
easy
Correct your spelling
essay
show examples
 will demonstrate
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides of the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 statement which relates to “Taking
time
 for parenthood” and by giving my opinion using a pragmatic approach. To commence with, there are several arguments in favour of my stance. The most important reason is meeting the milestones in their
career
 on
professional
Correct article usage
the professional
show examples
 end. Nowadays, we do have plenty of options to
care
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the child, with the
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
 number of
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
day
Correct your spelling
daycare
show examples
care
 and baby
care
 centres. We do have professionally trained babysitters who come
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 and take
care
 of infants.Overall, parenting at
later
Add an article
a later
show examples
 stage has advantages for
parents
 as they can achieve their dream
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. Another crucial factor in the aforementioned statement is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 parenting at
later
Add an article
a later
show examples
 stage has adverse effects on
health
Add an article
the health
show examples
 of children as well as
parents
. For instance, if
couple
Add an article
the couple
a couple
show examples
 is planning to have
baby
Add an article
a baby
the baby
show examples
 at the age
50
Change preposition
of 50
show examples
 years. By the
time
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 child gets into their teenage,
parents
 will come old and they cannot give enough
time
 and support to their kids. With the ageing of
parents
Add a comma
,parents
show examples
 the responsibility burden on kids starts at
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 young age. Overall,
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
 health and
career
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
also
 important and every parent should see their
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
career
 progress. To conclude, we have discussed the positive and negative outputs of late parenting has
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 own advantages and disadvantages. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 a certain amount like 3 years or 5 years to fulfil their dreams in
career
Add an article
a career
the career
show examples
 before becoming
parents
 would
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
good option.
Submitted by 09_hones_copy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: