You have an appointment with your manager the next day. Write him/her a letter about what you’re going to discuss at the meeting. In your meeting, you should tell: What did you do for the company during the years you worked there What changes you would like to recommend What training you require

#appointment #manager #you’re #company #years #changes

Dear Mr Singh, I am writing today with

regards

Fix the agreement mistake

regard

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to my scheduled meeting tomorrow with you

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the conference room.

Although

the schedule is for business development, here I want to discuss several other issues as well which I will be discussing tomorrow. Since it had been approximately 7 years of my service with

this

organisation, I feel overwhelmed

with

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the wonderful opportunity that I had received in

this

firm. As

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

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a finance manager I took the finance and accounts department to

the

Correct article usage

apply

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phenomenal heights as the profit of the company at the time of my joining was just $250 million

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

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, it had

been

Unnecessary verb

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increased to $570 million till

last

year. Though it was

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teamwork, being in charge of the said department, I feel honoured about it. Well, I would like to suggest some alterations in the finance department. Particularly, the computers are becoming obsolete as they are approximately 10 years old,

besides

this

, the windows in all these devices are outdated and as per engineers

recommendation

Add a comma

,recommendation

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these devices need a replacement. So I recommend the replacement of these gadgets for the benefit of the whole organization.

Moreover

, since I have been working for the

last

7 years, I have not been provided with

the

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training in the Management field. As I

woul

Correct your spelling

would

Submitted by kirnu0216 on Fri Sep 02 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

216 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You have an appointment with your manager the next day. Write him/her a letter about what you’re going to discuss at the meeting. In your meeting, you should tell: What did you do for the company during the years you worked there What changes you would like to recommend What training you require

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Since the 18 th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today's technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of ageing populations.