IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people work long hours,leaving very little time for liesure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or disadvantages?

In the modern era, working for a longer
time
Use synonyms
 at the workplace is inevitable considering the industry requirements and career aspirations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, a fair number of experts believe that extending
work
Use synonyms
hours
Use synonyms
 would evolve some upsides and downsides as well.
Hence
Linking Words
, I would like to express a few real-
time
Use synonyms
 examples of the given statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, late working
hours
Use synonyms
 would provide monetary benefits despite their regular pay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most of the employees are looking for money to pay off their debts,
Hence
Linking Words
, they are ready to spend extra
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Considering the market inflation skyrocketing prices and rents they cannot pay their enormous medical bills with their tiny salaries.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they decided to
work
Use synonyms
 2 to 3
hours
Use synonyms
 extra for their bosses.
In addition
Linking Words
, whoever is going to
work
Use synonyms
 for extra
hours
Use synonyms
 they are going to get a promotion which is one of the biggest factors to determine staying back at
work
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, those who are spending longer
time
Use synonyms
 at
work
Use synonyms
 are getting good increments and promotions as well. As per recent Google survey findings, 98% of employees are looking for extra
hours
Use synonyms
 job along with their daily job.
However
Linking Words
, undoubtedly, these extra
hours
Use synonyms
 would provide only money-related benefits but at the same
time
Use synonyms
, employees need to spend very little
time
Use synonyms
 on their recreational activities as they need to
work
Use synonyms
 more.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, they have not connected with their community members which may not be a good sign at a later stage of their life. I strongly believe that they may need to spend their money to get better health which cost them an eye and leg during their 60s. To sum up, no matter how long you
work
Use synonyms
 at the workplace, one must remember their health and family and need to make it a priority all along with the
work
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not the least, if we neglect and
then
Linking Words
 need to pay a huge to recover the damage which is incalculable.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: