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Band 5

Human activity has had a negative impact on planet and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others think actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both the views and give your opinion

#activity #impact #planet #animals #world #people #actions #change
Influence
Correct article usage
The influence
show examples
 of human existence can be seen on other living beings and the globe. Some might think
this
 cannot be changed,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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 some people believe with some efforts, some positive
changes
 might take place. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is possible to bring
changes
 with some positive
changes
.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 will be discussing both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects,
Increasing
Correct article usage
The increasing
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 population
Correct your spelling
worldwide
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world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
 has been affecting the earth and other
animals
 for many years. Humans for their convenience are not only manipulating natural
resources
, like cutting trees for building houses , roads and other necessities. But
also
 using
animals
 in many different ways. One of the most important use is for food, while other usages are for producing wool and leather etc. Apart from using
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
natural
resources
Add a comma
,resources
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 humans are
also
 abusing them, by causing many kinds of
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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 and torturing
animals
 for their
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
Correct your spelling
these
thses
Correct your spelling
these
 things can be changed with some minor positive
changes
.
Although
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 not easy to bring about the change overnight,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
 some
Correct your spelling
thoughtful
thoughtfull
Correct your spelling
thoughtful
 steps can help
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mother nature.
Firstly
 we can start by taking small steps like recycling and reusing things where possible,
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
 we can plant as many trees as
Correct your spelling
possible
posible
Correct your spelling
possible
.
Furthermore
, reducing
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of animal
produce
Replace the word
products
show examples
also
 can be
Correct your spelling
helpful
helpfull
Correct your spelling
helpful
 for
animals
. Apart from these, preserving the
resources
 we already have is
also
 a way of avoiding misuse of
Correct your spelling
resources
resourses
Correct your spelling
resources
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
rain water
Correct your spelling
rainwater
show examples
 harvesting and using solar energy can play a vital role
towards
Change preposition
in
show examples
 natural preservation. In conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
Change the verb form
woul
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wouls
Correct your spelling
would
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 like to say that we can not avoid or stop living
living
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
, but we can find ways to use natural
resources
 in a productive way and with some
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
efforts
Add a comma
,efforts
show examples
 we can
also
 find ways to
Correct your spelling
co-exist
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co- exist
Correct your spelling
co-exist
show examples
 with
animals
.
Submitted by nidhis1208 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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