Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the numbers of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #health #numbers #sports #facilities #effect #measures

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some

people

Use synonyms

believe that the most efficient way to improve the

health

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conditions of

people

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is to add more

sports

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facilities, while others think that

this

Linking Words

action is not enough and other measures need to be taken.I agree with the

second

Linking Words

statement and I shall explain my reasons in the forthcoming paragraphs.

Firstly

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, increasing the number of

sports

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facilities is quite beneficial, since they become more accessible to the public and they don't need to waste a lot of time commuting from place to place.

In addition

Linking Words

,if they are dissatisfied with a gym club ,

for example

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, they can easily find a new one.

On the other hand

Linking Words

,with a wide range of

sports

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clubs for the public,

people

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who can not spend a lot on

sports

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clubs

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will be able to join the cheap ones.

On the other hand

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to support

Change the verb form

supporting

show examples

people

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by providing them with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

insurance fee could be an effective method in order to make

people

Use synonyms

become healthier.

For example

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although

Linking Words

the lower-income-labour cannot afford the

treating

Replace the word

treatment

show examples

fee, they could have the opportunity to cure because they no need to pay for it.

Moreover

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, educating

people

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to have a healthy lifestyle is another means that could work out

this

Linking Words

problem.

For instance

Linking Words

, posting

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

activities or

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

diet that

good

Add a missing verb

are good

show examples

for

health

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In addition

Linking Words

, if

people

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could follow

this

Linking Words

suggestion, some

health

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problems could be

disposed

Add the preposition

ofdisposed

show examples

such

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as obesity, depression, and

high-blood-pressure

Correct your spelling

high blood pressure

show examples

. In conclusion, there are various things that can be done in order to improve public

health

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, and adding more gyms can be a useful measure but other actions like public jogging or educating programmes etc, should be taken

besides

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that.

Submitted by n1ma.mohammadi1376 on Sat Sep 03 2022

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
inclusive fitness
public health campaigns
lifestyle diseases
preventative health measures
health infrastructure
wellness initiatives
nutritional education
health-conscious
behavioural change
motivational outreach
physical wellbeing
cross-sectional collaboration
government subsidies
public health policy

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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the numbers of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Every year several languages die out. Some people think that this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Government should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more ?