IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

An increasing number of 18-year-olds are moving out of their parents' homes so they can live on their own after finishing high school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#parents #homes #school #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The number of 18-year-olds who are moving out of their parent's homes to live independently is growing every year. There are some benefits and drawbacks to
this
Linking Words
 approach that I shall explain in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 turn eighteen, they think they are mature enough to live independently. They may apply to a university to get a bachelor's degree or they may get a job after finishing high school. Regardless of what they do, independence helps
people
Use synonyms
 to become more experienced and make wise decisions in their lives. They don't rely on their
parents
Use synonyms
 anymore to solve their problems and try to tackle them
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own, which can be quite beneficial for them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, living independently will widen the horizons of your interactions.
For instance
Linking Words
, one of my friends migrated to Canada after getting a diploma and now he has rented a house to live with his colleagues.
This
Linking Words
 has given him the opportunity to meet a wide range of
people
Use synonyms
 who were quite successful and due to his connections,he found a job to cover his expenses, which has made him quite successful in his carrier.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some disadvantages to living apart from
parents
Use synonyms
 too. There are some
parents
Use synonyms
 that are too dependent on their children and it is very hard for them to live without them which can put them under emotional pressure or lead them to depression.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 move out of their parent's house, they have to pay a large proportion of their income to pay the rent which can cause economic problems for them since most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the eighteen-year-olds don't make so much money.
However
Linking Words
, in many countries, governments help young
people
Use synonyms
 financially in
this
Linking Words
 matter. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks to moving out of
parents
Use synonyms
' house, many measures can be taken to overcome them and are outweighed by the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
Submitted by n1ma.mohammadi1376 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: