IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that teaching music in schools is vital, while others think it is unnecessary (opinion)

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A number of the public think that
music
Use synonyms
 should learn in school , while others do not stay with
this
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 statement ,
in addition
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, in my point of view it is not too necessary to learn it .
First
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 of all , they have a plethora of subject , which is important for them as science, mathematics and other subjects , those only will helpful for them in the future ,
for example
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 , due to the advanced technology , science is more important than other subjects ,
as a result
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 , which is the only book , they give technical knowledge as well as social.
Moreover
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 ,
music
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 is an art ,
therefore
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 everyone is not able to learn it ,
in addition
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 , most children have no interest in
this
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 subject ,
for example
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 , 30 out of 67 students choose a physical training program rather than others.
Furthermore
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 , in his field no prestigious opportunities, while another side , they can get a huge range of options to select side their career,
such
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 as , after graduation , they can join any kind of company, which they want ,
therefore
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 they feel internal satisfaction to join it.
On the other hand
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 , some children have a hobby
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 becoming a musician ,
therefore
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 it should be there , due to the passion , many schools arranged it for them ,
for instance
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 , numerous schools organized
music
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 competition , where they learn
music
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 the whole year in the campus and
last
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 doing a competition between them.
Secondly
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 ,
music
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 as art we should respect it and take it as a subject in school, there it encourages children to join the field,
such
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 as the competition market , many schools include it. In conclusion , I believe that everyone is not interested in it but it is becoming for those, who are interested in
music
Use synonyms
 and it is beneficial for them.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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