IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Goverment sholuld spend more money on medical research and less reasearching on environment .To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#goverment #sholuld #money #research #environment
It is an undeniable fact that the rate of disease is increasing at an unprecedented rate due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unhealthy food and
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
 lifestyle. it is
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
 of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 that they should spend more
money
 on medical
research
 for
betterment
Add an article
the betterment
show examples
 of public
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
. some people believe that government should spend
money
 on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 as
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
also
 affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public health . I , agree with the given statement and
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
 for my inclination are articulated in
Correct article usage
the trail
show examples
trail
Correct your spelling
trial
show examples
 paragraphs.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 and foremost reason to support my ideology is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
World is struggling to tackle
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems. Many species are
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the verge of extinction and
animal
Add an article
the animal
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
worse. So the authorities should spend their
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 tackling these problems for the betterment of our planet.Another relevant argument to support my ideology is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 is
also
 important so it is ideal to spend
money
 on it. On the other side government should use their
money
 on the
research
 of cosmetics before available
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human . The reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 and
research
 are done on the product there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 chances of disease and
virus
Fix the agreement mistake
viruses
show examples
. We have a good example of
covid
Add an article
a covid
show examples
 vaccine that who trying to make a therapy that can help people to fight against the disease. To conclude, both finding are crucial and
Correct your spelling
government
goverment
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
sholud
Correct your spelling
should
 allocate
money
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 climate
research
 and medical
research
also
 for treating
Correct article usage
the corona
show examples
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
corona virus
Correct your spelling
coronavirus
show examples
 .
Submitted by Harsh prajapati  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: