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Writing Samples
Band 6

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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In today's world, many species and creatures are in danger and some of them are only a few left in the wild. Most of these problems
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
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 because of
humans
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,
however
Linking Words
, in the
meantime
Add a comma
meantime,
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humans
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 can protect
animals
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. Extinction is a serious problem for biodiversity and
also
Linking Words
 the food cycle. Most
animals
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 have been extinct because of losing their houses and
their
Change the word
the
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 local areas where they search to find their food.
Humans
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 destroy a lot of jungles every year to build and improve their urban cities which will cause problems for the creatures living there.
For example
Linking Words
, if we burn jungles and cut the trees, birds will die because they need to live in high places
such
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 as trees.
Thus
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, they should change their living place and in
this
Linking Words
 process, most of them will die.
However
Linking Words
, I know
humans
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 are brutal but, in the meantime, they can be helpful to
animals
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 and they can protect them. Professionals and scientists should search for those endangered
animals
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 and watch
on
Change preposition
apply
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them to make sure they are safe and have enough food to survive.
For instance
Linking Words
, one unique and rare leopard is living in Iran and scientists believe there are only a few of them still alive,
as a result
Linking Words
, they protected that area and did not permit the others to go there to make sure leopards will be safe.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
humans
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 can change their behaviour towards nature to keep the natural environment and creatures living there safe by only protecting jungles, deserts and any other places in which species live.

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task response
You have addressed the prompt by discussing the reasons for the extinction of wild animals and provided solutions on how to solve the problem. However, be sure to present a more balanced and detailed reasoning on both aspects.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to your essay. However, ensure that your main points are organized logically to enhance the coherence of your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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