More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?
In today's world, many species and creatures are in danger and some of them are only a few left in the wild. Most of these problems
happened
because of Wrong verb form
happen
humans
, however
, in the meantime
Add a comma
meantime,
humans
can protect animals
.
Extinction is a serious problem for biodiversity and also
the food cycle. Most animals
have been extinct because of losing their houses and their
local areas where they search to find their food. Change the word
the
Humans
destroy a lot of jungles every year to build and improve their urban cities which will cause problems for the creatures living there. For example
, if we burn jungles and cut the trees, birds will die because they need to live in high places such
as trees. Thus
, they should change their living place and in this
process, most of them will die.
However
, I know humans
are brutal but, in the meantime, they can be helpful to animals
and they can protect them. Professionals and scientists should search for those endangered animals
and watch on
them to make sure they are safe and have enough food to survive. Change preposition
apply
For instance
, one unique and rare leopard is living in Iran and scientists believe there are only a few of them still alive, as a result
, they protected that area and did not permit the others to go there to make sure leopards will be safe.
To conclude
, humans
can change their behaviour towards nature to keep the natural environment and creatures living there safe by only protecting jungles, deserts and any other places in which species live.Submitted by jaberi.mahyar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
You have addressed the prompt by discussing the reasons for the extinction of wild animals and provided solutions on how to solve the problem. However, be sure to present a more balanced and detailed reasoning on both aspects.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear structure to your essay. However, ensure that your main points are organized logically to enhance the coherence of your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!