IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where the conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara deserts or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

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In modern times,
people
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 travel to distant and interesting
places
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 to gain different
experiences
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, where the weather can be difficult.
Although
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such
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 trips have some pros and cons for tourists. On the one hand, society is always eager to see different
places
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. The reason for
this
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 is that they want to gain new
experiences
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, see different cultures or meet different
persons
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people
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.
In addition
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, some
areas
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 can give
people
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 unforgettable
experiences
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. It cannot be denied that in recent years,
places
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 like the Sahara Desert or Antarctica have attracted more
people
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's attention than other parts of the world because of their different weather conditions or because of the choice of their cultures. The advantage of seeing
such
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places
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 is that,
for example
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, if a person living in Africa goes to a cold place, he will see snow for the first time in his life.
On the other hand
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, some disadvantages of these trips cannot be ignored. Since these types of
areas
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 are remote and attract more attention from tourists, visit costs can be higher than expected.
In addition
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, sudden weather changes can cause some health problems in
people
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.
For example
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, in
areas
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 like the Sahara Desert, only individuals with high heat tolerance can travel comfortably, but someone from a hot country will not enjoy
traveling
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travelling
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 through the ice.
To sum up
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, sometimes
traveling
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travelling
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 to difficult
places
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 can bring some advantages
such
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 as gaining new
experiences
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 and getting to know new cultures, but one should not forget the difficulties. I believe that every difficulty brings a good time, which is why
traveling
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travelling
show examples
 to risky
areas
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 should always be an option.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement to outline the main points you will discuss in your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence to help guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate your points, especially when discussing the advantages and disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a balanced view of the benefits and disadvantages, which demonstrates critical thinking.
coherence and cohesion
The use of phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' effectively structure the argument, helping to distinguish between the two sides.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • extremophile
  • vulnerability
  • ecosystem preservation
  • sustainable tourism
  • cultural immersion
  • adventure tourism
  • physical endurance
  • ecological impact
  • remote destinations
  • environmental conservation
  • personal growth
  • indigenous populations
  • adventure seekers
  • tourism infrastructure
  • economic development
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