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Band 5

The best way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#cultures #work #organization
In
this
 contemporary epoch, whilst proponents hold the view that it is not necessary to be part of
such
companies
, in order to get familiar with a large variety of cultures, the opponents hold a diverse view.
However
, I am convinced
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the former view because working in big
companies
 will give others the chance to learn and know everything about culture practically. My contention will be
further
 explained. To embark , multinational
companies
 give their employees the
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
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 to deal with many characters daily.
In other words
, if an employee has a partner from another country, he will take from his daily habits one thing or two. A prime example of
this
 is in Egypt, there are many international schools where teachers in
this
 school get familiar with other holidays, food and clothes styles, as you can find American, British and Canadian citizens.
Hence
, what can be said is that working with people of other nationalities and interacting with them on a daily basis is more effective than trying to learn about their habits.
Moreover
, the current generation has become into travelling to other palaces just for work so you can find a company with lots of cultures.
This
 means that when locals spend most of their time with other nationalities, they will try to copy
man
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 things from them.
For example
,
instead
 of travelling to Paris to learn about food
while
Correct word choice
apply
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you can ask your French co-workers and they will teach you.
Therefore
, not only does working in multinational
companies
 will give you the chance to know about others, but some of them will affect your lifestyle. In conclusion,
after
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
this
 essay has manifested the points mentioned above. It can be reiterated that the easiest way to learn about people's cultures is to work with them.
Therefore
, I am of the belief that working with other nationalities is beneficial
as well as
 fun.
Submitted by amer.ebtsam on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph discusses a clear main point related to the topic. Use topic sentences and supporting details for clarity and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction lacks an clear indication of the writer's position and the conclusion does not summarize the main points effectively. Include a clear introduction that presents the writer's opinion and a conclusion that restates the main points and opinion.
lexical resource
Work on using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and fluently. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
grammatical range
Use a variety of complex sentence structures to demonstrate a range of grammatical structures. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and sentence structure for accuracy.
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