Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

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Yearly, a lot of small and local
businesses
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will close in different neighbourhoods because they can not compete against international and big companies. In
this
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essay, you will see two types of problems which
this
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behaviour causes to the small
shops
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and some solutions for them.
To begin
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with, local
people
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of
area
Correct article usage
the area
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wants
Verb problem
apply
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sometimes
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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use their own local and
city
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
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which they can find
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in small stores by their own
people
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but, when branch supermarkets
will
Verb problem
apply
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come, they can not sell whatever they want because they have their
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products
Correct word choice
own products
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to sell not the local one.
Also
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,
this
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will destroy small market
businesses
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and unfortunately, the owners should leave that
city
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.
For example
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, when Walmart appears in small cities, local
people
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will
get
Verb problem
be
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shocked, because Walmart has better deals and benefits for their customers
instead
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of local
shops
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,
as a result
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, owners of small
businesses
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will leave that
city
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and
people
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who live there can not find their local
products
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anymore.
However
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, the solution for the first problem is simple, as the company select the manager of that new branch from that
city
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, he can add some local food and
products
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to the store so that
people
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can have both their local
products
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and the normal one.
In addition
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, for the other problem,
government
Correct article usage
the government
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and leaders of those small cities can help local
businesses
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and small supermarkets to stay alive and compete with huge supermarkets which helps
that
Correct determiner usage
the
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city
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people
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to get interested
to have
Change preposition
in having
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their
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shops
Correct word choice
own shops
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.
For instance
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, the government can take fewer taxes and electricity bills from small
shops
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which helps them not worry about
such
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things.
To conclude
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, international and big markets can not have local
products
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if their manager does not be aware of those local
products
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and for small
shops
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is impossible to stay against huge companies which they have to close and leave but, if the manager of those
shops
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were from that
city
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, he can have a local product in the store and government with only small financial support can keep the small
businesses
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alive.
Submitted by jaberi.mahyar on

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task achievement
Task Response: The essay addresses the impact of local shops closing and provides solutions, but the response lacks depth and clear development. Ensure that the response fully addresses the task prompt by providing comprehensive analysis and development of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic logical structure and presents an introduction and conclusion, but the development of ideas lacks coherence and the organization could be improved. Work on developing clear and cohesive paragraphs with logical transitions to improve overall coherence and cohesion.
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