Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. How does this affect local communities? How could this situation be improved?

Yearly, a lot of small and local
businesses
will close in different neighbourhoods because they can not compete against international and big companies. In
this
essay, you will see two types of problems which
this
behaviour causes to the small
shops
and some solutions for them.
To begin
with, local
people
of
area
Correct article usage
the area
show examples
wants
Verb problem
apply
show examples
sometimes
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
use their own local and
city
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
which they can find
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in small stores by their own
people
but, when branch supermarkets
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
come, they can not sell whatever they want because they have their
products
Correct word choice
own products
show examples
to sell not the local one.
Also
,
this
will destroy small market
businesses
and unfortunately, the owners should leave that
city
.
For example
, when Walmart appears in small cities, local
people
will
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
shocked, because Walmart has better deals and benefits for their customers
instead
of local
shops
,
as a result
, owners of small
businesses
will leave that
city
and
people
who live there can not find their local
products
anymore.
However
, the solution for the first problem is simple, as the company select the manager of that new branch from that
city
, he can add some local food and
products
to the store so that
people
can have both their local
products
and the normal one.
In addition
, for the other problem,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and leaders of those small cities can help local
businesses
and small supermarkets to stay alive and compete with huge supermarkets which helps
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
city
people
to get interested
to have
Change preposition
in having
show examples
their
shops
Correct word choice
own shops
show examples
.
For instance
, the government can take fewer taxes and electricity bills from small
shops
which helps them not worry about
such
things.
To conclude
, international and big markets can not have local
products
if their manager does not be aware of those local
products
and for small
shops
is impossible to stay against huge companies which they have to close and leave but, if the manager of those
shops
were from that
city
, he can have a local product in the store and government with only small financial support can keep the small
businesses
alive.
Submitted by jaberi.mahyar on

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task achievement
Task Response: The essay addresses the impact of local shops closing and provides solutions, but the response lacks depth and clear development. Ensure that the response fully addresses the task prompt by providing comprehensive analysis and development of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic logical structure and presents an introduction and conclusion, but the development of ideas lacks coherence and the organization could be improved. Work on developing clear and cohesive paragraphs with logical transitions to improve overall coherence and cohesion.

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