Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time

Many people contend that spare
time
is an essential need for
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
human
brain
. Leisure
time
can be spent well by doing various activities,
evidence
Wrong verb form
evidenced
show examples
in
this
matter by reading and working on puzzles, whilst certain others think that it is significant to relax your
mind
during leisure
time
. In my opinion, leisure
time
can be considered according to the individual’s preference.
First
of foremost, after a very hectic day or
week
Add a comma
,week
show examples
it is necessary that the
mind
requires an adequate break. Continuity of
work
without a break may affect your
brain
and it can lead to various diseases or non-communicable diseases
such
as stress, anxiety and so on. Enhancing your knowledge during spare
time
can consider
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
an exercise
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
brain
,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
some
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
when the
mind
needs
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
rest it defines as no
work
. Some people prefer short breaks, they utilize
the
Change the word
their
show examples
spare
time
to
work
on their hobbies, whereas many individuals take a break completely from
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
,
housework
Correct word choice
and housework
show examples
, where they intend to travel locally or overseas on vacation.
Secondly
, in
this
context when we elaborate on the benefits when the human
brain
gets a sufficient break from
chaos
Add an article
the chaos
show examples
, the
mind
becomes clear, it enables
user
Add an article
the user
a user
show examples
to think straight, motivates the person, and gives a fresh
mind
, which
thereafter
encourages the person to
work
better. In conclusion, as far as I am concerned,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
spare
time
can be measured according to
individual’s
Correct article usage
an individual’s
show examples
preference, it could be either for a short or long break as long as the
brain
obtains enough relaxation.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive abilities
  • mental stagnation
  • intellectually stimulating
  • relaxation
  • meditation
  • stress reduction
  • overall well-being
  • personal development
  • life satisfaction
  • sense of achievement
  • emotional balance
  • peace of mind
  • scientific evidence
  • memory
  • learning
  • creativity
  • emotional regulation
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