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Band 6.5

The length of working week does not reflect modern lifestyle needs. It should be substantially reduced to give people more leisure time and time with their families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#length #week #lifestyle #people #leisure #time #families
Nowadays, more and more
people
 work longer
hours
 and for that reason, they do not get more leisure
time
 for their own activities and for family
also
. Some
people
 think that long working
hours
 do not reflect the modern lifestyle needs and It should be reduced to give
individuals
 more free
time
 to stay with their
families
. I strongly agree with
this
 notion and I think that a long working week should be deducted. I will explain my reasons for it in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, the lengthy job
hours
 should be reduced so that
people
 can find more free
time
 to spend with their parents and
families
,
this
 is because due to hectic schedules employers do not get sufficient amount of
time
 to stay with their
families
.
Secondly
, nowadays
people
 are suffering from health problems like overweight and diabetes due to less exercise and yoga.
For instance
, If the companies and the government will reduce the working
hours
 of
individuals
 from 9am to 5pm to 9am to 3pm
then
 it helps
individuals
 to spend quality
time
 in exercise and yoga, which are more crucial for
people
 to fit and refresh their mood along with their job.
Furthermore
, it is necessary for every person to keep a balance between their professional and personal life. To illustrate
this
, due to hectic working schedules they do not get more
time
 for their own hobbies and
that is
also
 one reason they fall in stress.
For example
, the German government allow their citizen to work only 28
hours
 a week
as a result
,
people
 can find more
time
 for their own activities and can
also
 spend quality
time
 with their partners and
families
. To sum it up, lengthy work jobs should be avoided and reduced which helps
individuals
 to find more free
time
 to refresh their minds and can spend quality
time
 with their partners and parents along with fit mentally as well as physically.
Submitted by azone2646 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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