IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that going to a fitness centre regularly is unnecessary. Instead, they believe that combining occasional exercise (such as going for walks) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Regular physical activity is important for a healthy life. It is believed
occasional
Correct word choice
that occasional
show examples
 exercise with a good
diet
Use synonyms
 is enough to stay healthy rather than spending a ton on fitness centre memberships. In my opinion, some amount of daily activity with a nutritious
diet
Use synonyms
 is sufficient for keeping fit. People, especially youngsters, want to get a six-pack body rather than a fit one.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, they join a gym and resort to various medications to achieve faster results.
While
Linking Words
 they concentrate on short-term results , they forget how these chemicals might affect their body.
For example
Linking Words
, we have heard the news of a gym instructor succumbing
due to
Linking Words
 the overuse of steroids.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these memberships are very expensive and cannot be afforded by everyone.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is important to train with proper knowledge
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 just following these fitness centres blindly. It is more important to work towards a fit body than a good-looking one. Physical activities like jogging, swimming or dancing on a regular basis can help to
break down
Verb problem
burn
show examples
 calories.
Also
Linking Words
, small changes in our routine life
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 taking stairs
instead
Linking Words
 of a
lift
Punctuation problem
lift,
show examples
 will burn down extra calories
.
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, a
diet
Use synonyms
 with a balance of nutrients will add to
overall
Linking Words
 health. Various studies have shown that a
calorie deficit
Use the right word
calorie-deficient
show examples
diet
Use synonyms
 with regular exercise followed strictly will prolong life by
5yrs
Correct your spelling
5 years
 as compared to a sedentary lifestyle.
Thus
Linking Words
, a healthy lifestyle constitutes regular activity and proper nutrition.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , fitness doesn't necessarily mean working out in a gym. Regular exercise with a balanced
diet
Use synonyms
 contributes to healthy living.

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structure
Start with a clear opinion in the opening line and add a short plan of your main points.
coherence
Link ideas with small, clear words to keep the flow simple and easy to read.
content
For each idea give one clear example and tell why it matters.
language
Check spell and grammar; use basic words and short sentences.
structure
The writer shows a clear view on the topic and has a closing line.
content
Examples on cost and steroid risk are used.
content
Diet and daily activity are linked in a simple way.
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