IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Schools should organise activities after class.To what extent do you agree or disagree.

All around the world, schools have different curriculums which include
activities
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 during and after class hours. Some people believe that the
school
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 should organise
activities
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 after class. I will elaborate in the
next
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 paragraphs
about
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on
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 the advantages and
disadvantage
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disadvantages
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 of
activities
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 after classes.
Firstly
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, all schools should encourage
activities
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 which I believe should be performed during
school
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 hours
specially
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especially
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 for very young
children
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. The
activities
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such
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 as Music, sport, drama, dancing and Art are
fundamental
Add an article
a fundamental
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part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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 of the growth and development of a child. Notably, these
activities
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 should be
teached
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taught
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 as a subject so that
children
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 have a
blossom
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blossoming
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 growth.
On the contrary
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, I think that young students, after schools are already tired and adding another activity to their busy schedule
specially
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especially
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 if it is
in
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on
show examples
 the
school
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 premises, could eventually be boring and not interesting.
However
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, there could be some advantages of doing
activities
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 after
school
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 as
children
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 after
school
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 will have the tendency to watch television and eat junk
foods
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food
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 after
school
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.
Additionally
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, some sports would be very
benefit
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beneficial
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 to these
children
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 as
this
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 will contribute to their
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
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.
Moreover
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, I strongly believe that these extra curriculums should be free to these students. In conclusion,
although
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school
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activities
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 after
school
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 hours have
some
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a
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few
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apply
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drawbacks, I believe the advantages are more significant.
Thus
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, I believe that these
activities
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 should be encouraged.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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