IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think travelling abroad is a valuable experience for young people. Others think it wastes too much time and expense. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #wastes #time #expense
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today in the world of
people
Use synonyms
 who seek
Add an article
a
show examples
new
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 to travel. The juvenile
people
Use synonyms
 who love to travel outside their own countries for more way memories. While others suppose that they can lose money and spend more days. I would argue that juniors should go outside to find the other world in their own way. On one hand, the travelling of young
people
Use synonyms
 going to other countries explore their
life
Use synonyms
 value time.
Firstly
Linking Words
 there is the
life
Use synonyms
 age range to learn something new.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when they meet
people
Use synonyms
 or new cultures different from they live that might give some inspiration back. For ,example new experiences with foods which they try once at the local restaurant will inspire and north them to be a chef. While other languages could attract them to be interested in studying diplomacy.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the cost of travelling may a big problem for some families. When going outside everything is
a
Change preposition
at a
show examples
cost. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 some young
people
Use synonyms
 choose to stop their student
life
Use synonyms
 when they have gone outside and have trapped from the temptation which they got and can lose the time to treat their health form injured they got. For ,stant some
people
Use synonyms
 stay in the hospital between trips from food poisoning and some
people
Use synonyms
 may move out and get married to the rural girl whom they met. In conclusion, even going to foreign countries can lose time and money but in my opinion, I suppose that these more positive to make their
life
Use synonyms
 experience that can not replace by anything
Submitted by vanil on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: