Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely debated by some people that luck is the main factor to obtain success.

Although

it unbearably plays a significant role in some successful stories,

however

, I firmly believe that hard work in the form of skill considerably influences people in obtaining their aims. One predominant reason is the absence of skill in every successful businessmen's story. Whether they get the initial costs by chance, they still require experts who are skilful to maintain their businesses.

For instance

, Mark Zuckerberg, founder of a leading digital company, Facebook, tried to develop his expertise in software systems for online communication in order to obtain profits, which later he hired professionals to develop globally. In comparison, recent news of an adolescent from the USA who won one million lotteries by luck was sadly back to his street life as he had no management skills to spend the money wisely. These two cases seem convincing enough to take skills which are gained from working hard to outperform fortune.

Furthermore

, another firm reason is the importance of education to achieve a dream job which is commonly classified as a goal by many workers.

Moreover

, employees require certain educational qualifications that should be met by applicants. To illustrate, job seekers need to hold a bachelor's degree and internship experience for high-paid jobs.

As a result

, many parents send their offspring to leading universities that provide apprenticeships in big factories, and their kids will try to absorb information and later likely be labelled as skilful students which have bigger opportunities to be accepted as workers. In conclusion, being a hard worker is invisibly a key factor in achieving goals. If society implemented the concept of working hard in their heart and actions, being lucky would be seen as a small amount of contribution.

Submitted by IELTS_8 on Tue Sep 06 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

8.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

•In large cities, the issue of overpopulation has been a significant cause of concern which leads to a lack of jobs and traffic congestion. What is the cause of this? How can government help in solving this problem? 1. High burn rates

Young people who commit crimes should be treated in the same way as adults. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some people thinks it's better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them, Other people believe it's good to have friends who sometimes disagrees with them.