Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #life #luck

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It is widely debated by some people that luck is the main factor

to obtain

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in obtaining

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success.

Although

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luck unbearably plays a significant role in some successful stories,

however

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, I firmly believe that hard work in the form of skill considerably influences people in obtaining their aims. One predominant reason is the absence of skill in every successful

businessmen's

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businessman's

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story. Whether they get the initial costs by chance, they still require experts who are skilful to maintain their businesses.

For instance

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, Mark Zuckerberg, founder of a leading digital company, Facebook, tried to develop his expertise in software systems for online communication in order to obtain profits and

also

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hired professionals to develop globally.

In contrast

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, recent news of an adolescent from the USA who won one million lotteries by luck was sadly back to his street life as he had no management skills to spend the money wisely.

This

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likely seems convincing enough to take skills which are gained from working hard to outperform fortune.

Furthermore

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, another firm reason is the importance of education to achieve a dream job which is commonly classified as a goal by many workers.

Moreover

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, employees require certain educational qualifications that should be met by applicants. To illustrate, job seekers need to hold a bachelor's degree and internship experience for high-paid jobs.

As a result

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, many parents send their offspring to leading universities that provide apprenticeships in big factories, and their kids will try to absorb information and later likely be labelled as skilful students

which

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who

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have bigger opportunities to be accepted as workers. In conclusion, being a hard worker is invisibly a key factor in achieving goals. If society implemented the concept of working hard in their heart and actions, being lucky would be seen as a small amount of contribution.

Submitted by IELTS_8 on Tue Sep 06 2022

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Task Response

Ensure that your examples are more directly related to the prompt. Make sure that your ideas are well-supported and directly relevant to the given topic.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay shows a good overall structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, there are some instances where the logical flow could be improved by linking ideas more clearly throughout the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

luck
determination
hard work
perseverance
skills
continuous learning
achievements
opportunities
networking
personal accountability
diverse backgrounds
access to resources
causality
creative industries
structured fields
linear
predicated on merit

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Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people prefer to live in rented homes. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend

Modern buildings appear in large numbers, but some people believe that we should build our buildings in traditional styles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

living in a country where you have to speak a foreign languagecan cause serious social problems, as well practical problems

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be rewuired to work in the country where they did their trainig. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.