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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some claim that men are naturally more competitive than women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#men #women
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Some argue that
men
Use synonyms
 are stereotypically regarded as more competitive than their female counterparts. In general opinion, whilst their viewpoints seem to be true,
competitiveness
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 is expressed differently in females. One school of thought suggests that everyone is trying to be a better version of themself regardless of their gender,
however
Linking Words
 it could
also
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 be seen that most frequently
men
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 displayed aggressive traits in their genes.
This
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 rests on the fact that
men
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 have more high levels of the hormone testosterone than
women
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.
For instance
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,
this
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 could be most apparently seen in the evolution of humanity,
men
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 had to adapt to fight for dominance and demanded a surplus of strength to hunt and feed the whole family. In the modern world,
this
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 translates to extreme aggressiveness overwhelmingly reflected in a number of ambitious
men
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 driven by their high social status.
Thus
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, the accumulated evidence has reasoned for the seeable
competitiveness
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 in males.
On the other hand
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, the visibly competitive features of
men
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 would still contend that
women
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 have different outlets to express their competitive qualities. In the past, societal biases often dragged
women
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 from their interest in competitive sports and ambitious career paths. In lieu of competing traditionally like
men
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,
women
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 tended to focus their energies on more domestic matters, which could
also
Linking Words
 be seen as their effort to gain the highest position in society at the time. Another illustration of
this
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 is often indicated in
women
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 in the current times, who commonly embrace their competitive drive and strive for highly aimed goals similar to
men
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.
Therefore
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, these innate desires of females grant a valid standpoint as they have the ability to express
competitiveness
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 but not in obvious ways. Having mulled over the aforementioned views, it could be concluded that despite the evolutionary evidence to support the natural
competitiveness
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 of
men
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,
women
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 display
this
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 in a more subtle way.
However
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,
such
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 narrow stereotyping can ruin one's life and educators and parents should jointly propose a more holistic approach in order to bring equal educational and career opportunities to youngsters as it would benefit society in the near future.
Submitted by Mark Davidson on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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