Schools should take more responsibility for the health of today’s children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#schools #responsibility #health #today’s #children

this

contemporary era, strength is a major concern amongst pupils. Due to

this

students

are getting exposed to problems like weak eyesight, obesity, and many more. The school should look into

this

matter and take the necessary steps to look into

this

scenario. The viewpoints for the following would be discussed in the upcoming paragraph. One school of thought suggests that issues regarding

health

are increasing so

schools

should take responsibility for the

health

of modern

students

. It could be seen that in recent times technology is increasing in

schools

This

increase had come with many pros and cons.

Students

are using their gadgets like laptops more than they ever used as well as their smartphones.

This

has led to problems in the eyes as the harmful rays emitted by these devices have adverse effects on the retina.

Moreover

, they are now so indulged in the screens that they are now getting obese. A study conducted in the USA states that the percentage of

students

affected by obesity after the launch of the latest technology had increased by 34%. Are these the only problems faced by

students

? The answer to

this

is quite surprising. Pupils who are more inclined towards their electronic screens are now becoming more lethargic as there is a significant decline in the rates of physical activity.

Schools

should consider that

health

is way more important the studies. They should organize many events in which

health

is the central topic. Having mulled over the aforementioned views it could be concluded that

health

is very important for everyone like it is said that a healthy mind stays in a healthy body.

However

schools

should take initiatives that are subtle for

students

' future and formulate plans

accordingly

Submitted by Mark Davidson on Tue Sep 06 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

289 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Schools should take more responsibility for the health of today’s children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opin

In many countries the proportion of older people is increasing. Could this have more positive or negative effects on society?

Some people think that private health care is better for the people. Others say that health care should be free of charge and run by the government. How far do you agree or disagree with the statement.