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Writing Samples
Band 6

Schools should take more responsibility for the health of today’s children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#schools #responsibility #health #today’s #children
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In
this
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 contemporary era, strength is a major concern amongst pupils. Due to
this
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students
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 are getting exposed to problems like weak eyesight, obesity, and many more. The school should look into
this
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 matter and take the necessary steps to look into
this
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 scenario. The viewpoints for the following would be discussed in the upcoming paragraph. One school of thought suggests that issues regarding
health
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 are increasing so
schools
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 should take responsibility for the
health
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 of modern
students
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. It could be seen that in recent times technology is increasing in
schools
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.
This
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 increase had come with many pros and cons.
Students
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 are using their gadgets like laptops more than they ever used as well as their smartphones.
This
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 has led to problems in the eyes as the harmful rays emitted by these devices have adverse effects on the retina.
Moreover
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, they are now so indulged in the screens that they are now getting obese. A study conducted in the USA states that the percentage of
students
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 affected by obesity after the launch of the latest technology had increased by 34%. Are these the only problems faced by
students
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? The answer to
this
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 is quite surprising. Pupils who are more inclined towards their electronic screens are now becoming more lethargic as there is a significant decline in the rates of physical activity.
Schools
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 should consider that
health
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 is way more important the studies. They should organize many events in which
health
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 is the central topic. Having mulled over the aforementioned views it could be concluded that
health
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 is very important for everyone like it is said that a healthy mind stays in a healthy body.
However
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,
schools
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 should take initiatives that are subtle for
students
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' future and formulate plans
accordingly
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.
Submitted by Mark Davidson on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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