IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the use of cell phones (mobile phones) has increased rapidly in the twenty-first century. Additionally, cell phones can now be used for many purposes besides making phone calls. what are the advantages and disadvantages of cell phones? Give reasoning and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Mobile
phones
Use synonyms
, object newly known to humanity, have recently made a new turn. Nowadays, it is not only used for communications; It can
also
Linking Words
 be used to find information, leisure
time
Use synonyms
, and even finish important tasks. As with any other thing in life, it has advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, it makes life easier from many aspects: the well-known advantage. communication, and other daily activities
such
Linking Words
 as bank transfers. With online business being a trend, and having a lot of customers, it is easier for people to transfer money online, rather than going to the bank every
time
Use synonyms
, which can be exhausting.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can help pass
time
Use synonyms
; as books and games can be easily downloaded. A person can pass
time
Use synonyms
- especially on public transportation- by playing a game or reading a book, having that in a pocket-sized object is certainly an advantage.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, it has many drawbacks. In the modern days, having almost all your information on a mobile phone is clearly common. Whereas a lot of people do not see it as a disadvantage, it is quite dangerous. Not only can your phone get stolen, but it can
also
Linking Words
 be hacked, giving a random stranger access to Whereas everything: personal pictures, contact, bank information, and location.
In addition
Linking Words
, it can be a tool to waste
time
Use synonyms
. Young people tend to use it for every reason they could find, they became addicted. A survey done in a school showed that 61% of high school students use their
phones
Use synonyms
 for an average of 7 hours a day. Which is concerning. Overall, mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 can be useful and make ones life easier.
However
Linking Words
, it can
also
Linking Words
 be ones destruction if not used right. Everything had both good and bad. It depends on the person using it; overusing anything can make it disturb ones health, safety, and brain. Mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are no exception,
therefore
Linking Words
, use it wisely.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: