Full-time university students spend a lot of time studying. Some say they should do other activities too. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The time of university
is
Verb problem
plays
show examples
a significant role in our life, and we must have sufficient awareness about it for precise use. Most experts emphasize that. The students have to do some exercises
besides
their studies for pleasure,
as well as
, the bulk of individuals think dislike that. It is safe to assume that.The education institute has to force some sports activities on their students for a couple of attribute causes
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that the exercises grant them some energy, and They will not be bored.
Firstly
, the majority of schoolboys suffer from depression and anxiety,
due
Correct word choice
because
show examples
they linger for a long term at
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
home without hanging out with friends or practising their art,so exercises play a fundamental position in
this
condition. To illustrate, when the individual practices his hobby
besides
his exams. He will not be desperate,
due to
the mix between them,
Furthermore
, he gives himself short-term rest for his brain.
Moreover
, the schoolboys should allocate their time to chapters every chapter for a specific thing,
due
Correct word choice
because
show examples
that will aid them
to regulate
Change preposition
in regulating
show examples
their school life and
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
their aims without barriers. In the brief, dividing our time of studies into sections is playing a stunning role in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
secondly
, the Majority of conditions of depression are caused by overstudying. they must be aware to skip
this
obstacle. if we want the facility studying, we must mix between pleasure and education assignments.
For example
, they can define five hours for studying and a rest week for talking with friends or playing our diversion.
Furthermore
, studying with our friends together is another method we can use during studying,
hence
we will not be bored if we work under
this
condition,
due
Change preposition
because
show examples
when we study with our partners we will help each other,
therefore
, we will study and enjoy ourselves at the same turn.
To sum up
, creating an occupation next to our studying assists us
to be
Change preposition
in being
show examples
excited about our research. In conclusion, The education centres must select periods of pleasure next to the curriculum for two reasons granting them motivation to study and making them comfortable,
although
, In my,
thought
Verb problem
apply
show examples
we must to commitment in our fun even if we have several research.
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Task Response
Task Response: The essay does not fully address the prompt. The writer discusses the importance of doing other activities besides studying but does not clearly state whether they agree or disagree with this. The essay should clearly take a position and support it throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay lacks a clear overall structure, making it difficult to follow. The introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more focused. The main points are somewhat supported, but the essay lacks clear transitions between ideas, leading to a disjointed and confusing structure.

Your opinion

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