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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people
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It is argued by some that we should make the prices of sugary
products
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 higher as a means of pushing people to intake less
sugar
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, considering how more and more processed
products
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 consist of vast amounts of
sugar
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 which
leads
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lead
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 to multiple health problems. Personally, I completely disagree with
this
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 view
,
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apply
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 and would argue that it is neither right nor practical to try to raise the prices of sugary
products
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. On the one hand, it is undeniable that highly processed food and drink
products
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 can be a threat to modern citizens' health conditions. "
Sugar
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 is the new poison", as many would say. In order to improve the taste of these
products
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, manufacturers often choose to add an unhealthily high level of
sugar
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, which can cause mild addiction by spiking dopamine release in human brains according to multiple
researches
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types of research
pieces of research
kinds of research
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 across the world.
This
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 method is so widespread that
sugar
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 can even be found in the least expected things,
such
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 as daily seasonings like vinegar and soy sauce.
As a result
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, people today are consuming an excessive dosage of
sugar
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 that human bodies are simply not designed to cope with. After all, mass production of
sugar
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 only started several centuries ago, yet it took tens of thousands of years for our ancestors to develop the rewarding mechanism that we have in our brains today, which both helped our species survive in the Stone Age and is slowly killing many of us today. With all that being said, I would argue that trying to raise the
price
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 of sugary
products
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 would be an effort in vain, which may even cause more serious consequences for society.
First
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 of all, sugary food and drink
products
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 are fast-moving consumer
products
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, often consumed rapidly and priced low, which means that consumer perception of their
price
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 changes can be low.
This
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 is to say, most consumers are not likely to stop buying
such
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products
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 simply because the
price
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 has increased by 5 cents. For families with poorer financial conditions, the
price
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 changes might seem more obvious.
However
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, while they can reduce the consumption of snacks, they cannot avoid buying
daily
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dairy
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products
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such
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 as the sweetened seasoners mentioned above.
Thus
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, the living cost of people will rise, and
this
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 may lead to serious problems for society. In conclusion, I believe that we have no reason to try to intervene with the
price
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 of sugary
products
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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