Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#amount #children #people

Advertising is one of the major concerns in modern society. Whether it can be designed mainly for kids is a

contraversial

Correct your spelling

controversial

issue. While

Correct your spelling

advertisements

advertisments

Correct your spelling

advertisements

can offer students some benefits, my view is that the cons overweight the pros. It is clear that

advertisements

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

aimed at children are rather interesting so

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can easily attract kids’ attention.

This

means that students may be easily addicted to these commercials and pay less attention to their studies. So, in order to reduce the negative influence

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show examples

kids’

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertisements

should not be created for pupils.

Moreover

, since the advertising aimed to inspire the expenditure desire of individuals, it may be harmful to pupils’ mental health.

For example

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cartoon shows always have lots of toy ads which are really attractive and can easily inspire kids’ “taste”. In

this

case, If their parents refuse to buy the toys, they may feel upset and depressed.

Nevertheless

Correct your spelling

those

thoes

Correct your spelling

those

who harbour the view that children can receive

advertisements

believe that it can improve the economic condition of society. There are, of course, some kids

would

Correct pronoun usage

who would

show examples

ask their parents to purchase the toys

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

Correct word choice

which

show examples

may benefit the local

Correct your spelling

economic

econic

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economy

in a limited way. But it may put more financial burdens

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

poor families. In conclusion, as far as study, mental health and

economic

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economics

show examples

are concerned, I strongly hold that

advertisements

can not aim at pupils. Of course, we should not ignore the important role advertising

are

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show examples

undertaking in some cases.

Submitted by 878663872 on Wed Sep 07 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

246 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think it is negative for children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Task 2: What can be done to maintain biodiversity?

Write a letter to the hotel, making the arrangements. In your letter •tell them when you will be arriving and leaving •explain what type of rooms you would like, and ask how much the weekend will cost •ask about activities and places of interest near the hotel

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people believe that schoolchildren should do their class work individually. Other people believe that sometimes class work should be done in small groups. Discuss both views and give your opinion.