IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
They say that “
work
Use synonyms
 hard to get a good result”, but does hard
work
Use synonyms
 always achieve it? There are some countries that tend to teach
children
Use synonyms
provided
Correct pronoun usage
that provided
show examples
 that they strive for their goals, no matter what, they will accomplish them. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 message can motivate
children
Use synonyms
, as no hurdles prevent them from their dreams.
However
Linking Words
, it must be taken into consideration that hard
work
Use synonyms
 is not always the key to every achievement. On the one hand, teaching
children
Use synonyms
 that striving guarantees their success has inevitable advantages. Not only does it result in motivation, but
also
Linking Words
 it will inspire them to overcome hardships and not to give their purposes up easily.
Children
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, will pursue their goals that once were deemed to need innate talents.
For example
Linking Words
, when learning a
second
Linking Words
 language, which is a time-consuming process,
children
Use synonyms
 need to know that working diligently, not only
talent
Change preposition
with talent
show examples
, is conducive to enhancing proficiency.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they will later become adults who have been improving their resilience from childhood.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the most noticeable disadvantage of
this
Linking Words
 notion is that it is able to make
children
Use synonyms
 disappointed when they spend so much time and effort on something they desire and do not get the result they expect; mostly , in tasks that hard
work
Use synonyms
 plays little role. A good example of
this
Linking Words
 is a child wanting to become a popular singer without considering his or her lack of musical talent.
As a result
Linking Words
, after wasting time on voice training and not achieving a good outcome, that child, eventually, will get frustrated and depressed from all the
work
Use synonyms
 he or she has done. In conclusion, telling
children
Use synonyms
 that hard
work
Use synonyms
 leads them to success is a great motivation through hard moments.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it should not be neglected that not all dreams and aims will be achieved by hard
work
Use synonyms
;
Moreover
Linking Words
, by ignoring that,
such
Linking Words
 training may produce undesirable fallouts.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: