Public holiday celebrations are held by most conutries. Some people say that governmnt should spend money on other useful things! Do you agree or disagree?

#holiday #celebrations #conutries #people #governmnt #money

Nowadays, most of the

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

used

Add a missing verb

is used

show examples

to hold public holidays

such

as festivals and national days. A few folks claim that authority should invest money in other fields that are useful for the

nation

's development

such

as education, science,

innovation

Correct word choice

and innovation

show examples

of technology. I totally agree with

above

Add an article

the above

show examples

statement because of the various reason which I would discuss in the following essay with appropriate examples and explanations. The

first

and foremost reason to support the above statement is that the authority money is

Change the article

apply

show examples

crucial for the development of the

nation

. So, it should be invested in

important

Add an article

the important

an important

show examples

sector

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors

show examples

like education, science,

technology

Correct word choice

and technology

show examples

innovation.

This

would give

Remove the article

apply

show examples

plenty of job

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

civilian

Fix the agreement mistake

civilians

show examples

nation

Add an article

a nation

the nation

show examples

would get

knowledgable

Correct your spelling

knowledgeable

show examples

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

Hence

, it should be invested in

such

crucial fields.

Last

, if the funds

used

Add a missing verb

are used

show examples

for public

holidays

Change the noun form

holiday

show examples

celebrations,

then

Add an article

the authority

show examples

authority

Fix the agreement mistake

authorities

show examples

would not have

Correct your spelling

sufficient

suffiecient

Correct your spelling

sufficient

money to invest

Change preposition

show examples

those field

Change the determiner

that field

those fields

show examples

As a result

continent

Add an article

the continent

show examples

would not get knowledgeable people And

this

would lack the

nation

behind in development and

economy

Correct article usage

the economy

show examples

would

also

drop. In

Correct your spelling

conclusion

conlcusion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

Correct your spelling

government

giverment

Correct article usage

the giverment

show examples

should prioritize the

imprtamce

Correct your spelling

importance

of the

secters

Correct your spelling

sectors

. And spend their fund on

acience

Correct your spelling

science

, education and technology.

Submitted by drsefalipatel on Wed Sep 07 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

192 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?
Several individuals believe that good health is crucial to everyone, so medical services should not be managed by profit-making companies. In my opinion, I think that the advantages of private health care do not outweigh its disadvantages.
7
band
Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?
Lately, a plethora of topics are being seriously talked about among various individuals and groups, and one prominent topic is private time. There are even workers who prefer to spend their time staying with colleagues, while others tend to reserve private time for themselves. I strongly agree that people should spend spare time with co-workers. In the succeeding paragraphs, I am going to discuss the reason along with my personal perspective.
7.5
band
In today's societies, young people need more freedom to learn and explore the world on their own. others think that they learn from old people from their experiences and suggestion. Do you agree or disagree?
In the dynamic of the modern world, it is argued that young folk need more independence to pursue their own interests and discover new things while others believe they can benefit experiences and advice of the elderly. Even though I agree that it is good to have the freedom to choose something, i disagree being free means that they do not need the knowledge and guidance from older ones.
6.5
band
In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education.
In some nations in Europe, many children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job in the future, but other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education.In my opinion, I think should teach children to communicate well, help students to learn how to use computers, and give them enough practice to improve their language.
5
band
Write about the following topic: It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. To what extend do you agree with the view expressed?
Investment and affording to on new journy by starting your own business is become necessary, which a plethora of people, even for their offsprings, think so. Saving money, overall, helps everyone to reach their goals in the future. In this essay, it will be explaned agreement and disagreement.

Public holiday celebrations are held by most conutries. Some people say that governmnt should spend money on other useful things! Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people like to spend their leisure time with their colleagues, while others prefer to keep their private life separate from their work life. Is it a good thing to spend leisure time with a colleague?

In today's societies, young people need more freedom to learn and explore the world on their own. others think that they learn from old people from their experiences and suggestion. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education.