In many countries, as people are earning more these days, they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
There is no doubt that gaining more money is
so
crucial in Rephrase
apply
this
era globally.In addition
, there is a significant increase in purchasing a large number of things.In my opinion, people should save enough money for critical situations.
One of the major drawbacks of over-spending income is the inability to deal with emergencies.To illustrate, sometimes, some individuals might be exposed to surprising obstacles which require having sufficient money to be easily overcome.Because of that, people should save a part of their wages and put them in a bank to be ready for encountering
any tough problem.If the majority of employees pay attention to keeping a part of their proceeds, Change preposition
to encounter
this
will have an incredible impact on their life
.Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Moreover
, without saving a good section of salary, employees may get stuck in a level and it will be hard for them to make any progress in the near future.
On the other hand
, purchasing massive stuff that everybody wants has an amazing effect on their satisfaction.For instance
, young people tend to own up-to-date gadgets to cope with the development that happens around them.Besides
, new technology facilitates dealing with each other throughout our majors and our daily routine which in turn reflects on our lifestyle.For example
, fancy cars could be one of the most comfortable ways that make our journeys more entertaining.
In conclusion, although
there are a large number of merits for paying a lot for owning a cutting-edge device and being included in a luxury life, the disadvantages of being without saved earns
may reflect negatively on your progression.Correct your spelling
earnings
Submitted by vet.surgeon.ahmed.abdelqader on
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Task response
Task response: The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the positive and negative aspects of increased spending as people earn more. However, the response lacks depth and thorough exploration of the topic. Include more detailed analysis and examples to fully address the task prompt.
Coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure is somewhat maintained, but the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the connection between ideas could be improved by using transitional phrases and organizing the content more coherently. Try to create a stronger link between sentences and paragraphs to enhance overall cohesion.
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