In many countries, as people are earning more these days, they are also spending money in buying more and more items. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

There is no doubt that gaining more money is

Rephrase

apply

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crucial in

this

Linking Words

era globally.

In addition

Linking Words

, there is a significant increase in purchasing a large number of things.In my opinion, people should save enough money for critical situations. One of the major drawbacks of over-spending income is the inability to deal with emergencies.To illustrate, sometimes, some individuals might be exposed to surprising obstacles which require having sufficient money to be easily overcome.Because of that, people should save a part of their wages and put them in a bank to be ready

for encountering

Change preposition

to encounter

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any tough problem.If the majority of employees pay attention to keeping a part of their proceeds,

this

Linking Words

will have an incredible impact on their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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Moreover

Linking Words

, without saving a good section of salary, employees may get stuck in a level and it will be hard for them to make any progress in the near future.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, purchasing massive stuff that everybody wants has an amazing effect on their satisfaction.

For instance

Linking Words

, young people tend to own up-to-date gadgets to cope with the development that happens around them.

Besides

Linking Words

, new technology facilitates dealing with each other throughout our majors and our daily routine which in turn reflects on our lifestyle.

For example

Linking Words

, fancy cars could be one of the most comfortable ways that make our journeys more entertaining. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are a large number of merits for paying a lot for owning a cutting-edge device and being included in a luxury life, the disadvantages of being without saved

earns

Correct your spelling

earnings

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may reflect negatively on your progression.

vet.surgeon.ahmed.abdelqader

Sep 7, 2022

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Task response

Task response: The essay partially addresses the task by discussing the positive and negative aspects of increased spending as people earn more. However, the response lacks depth and thorough exploration of the topic. Include more detailed analysis and examples to fully address the task prompt.

Coherence and cohesion

Coherence and cohesion: The logical structure is somewhat maintained, but the essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Additionally, the connection between ideas could be improved by using transitional phrases and organizing the content more coherently. Try to create a stronger link between sentences and paragraphs to enhance overall cohesion.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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