Large companies use sport events to promote their products. Some people think this has a negative impact on sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#companies #sport #events #products #people #impact #sports

Nowadays, there is an increasing tendency

that

Correct word choice

for

show examples

mega films

have been advertised

Wrong verb form

to advertise

show examples

their products throughout sporty events.

However

, It is said that

this

trend has been influenced negatively

Change preposition

show examples

sports

. From my perspective, I agree with

this

sentiment and the reasons for my support will be presented in

this

essay.

Firstly

, The popularity of

this

trend may involve a recognition that teams may be not able to maintain financial stability without accepting advertising from larger companies. In fact, broadcasting matches is normally free,

however

, the price of outstanding players, coaches, and facilities has been exceptionally high,

Therefore

, being sponsored by big supporters seems to be rational. Commercial advertisements, billboards placed outside of stadiums or product placement including uniforms could set up good examples for advertising relating to

sports

. Theoretically ,

this

kind of cooperation is likely beneficial to both sides.

On the other hand

, I totally with the individuals claiming that these advertisements might impact negatively on

sports

due to

the de-emphasis on the sporting spirit. First off, the public, especially, the youngsters who tend to look up the best sportspeople or their favourite teams could

be pursued

Wrong verb form

pursue

show examples

using the aged-restriction products advertised by their favourite leagues

such

as alcohol or

cigarette

Fix the agreement mistake

cigarettes

show examples

Besides

, exposing plenty of advertising during break time might annoy some viewers since they are easily distracted

while

watching, which could lead to weakening the interest of the audiences in

sports

. In conclusion, People may have different perspectives on whether or not more

sports

-sponsored advertisements are positive ,

however

, I firmly believe that

this

tendency is not beneficial to

sports

Submitted by hanhcassiey on Thu Sep 08 2022

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task response

Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the topic right at the beginning, without confusing it with any other subject.

task response

Be more specific in providing examples. For instance, mention actual sports or events where advertisements have an impact.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph flows logically from the one before it. Use transitional phrases effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Be careful with paraphrasing and sentence structure to avoid minor grammatical issues that may affect clarity.

introduction and conclusion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion that are present and distinguishable.

supported main points

The main points are generally clear and relate directly to the prompt.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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1.Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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