The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The two charts compare four different retail sectors namely, electronics and applications, food and drinks, home furnishings, and video games in Canada in terms of the rate of their internet

sales

Use synonyms

in 2005 and 2010.

Overall

Linking Words

, the percentage of online

sales

Use synonyms

for each of the four various changed outstandingly from 2005 to 2010. The figures for food, drinks and computer games declined moderately,

whereas

Linking Words

those for the other two sections dropped. The online

sales

Use synonyms

for the proportion of video games were 23%, which was approximately higher

Change preposition

than 5

show examples

% in 2005.

Similarly

Linking Words

, a notable change was witnessed in food and beverage increased by 10% and making it the retail sector with the biggest

overall

Linking Words

rate

Change preposition

show examples

the online market.

In contrast

Linking Words

, the sharpest fall was in the home furnishings retail sectors,

while

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

figure was 25% of these

sector’s

Fix the agreement mistake

sectors’

show examples

retail online

sales

Use synonyms

in 2005, it fell to merely 15% in 2010. Electronics and applications accounted for the majority of online

sales

Use synonyms

were 35% and

then

Linking Words

dropped to 30% by 2010.

Submitted by ngocanhpham18ulis on Thu Sep 08 2022

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

168 words

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The two pie charts below show the online shopping sales for retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

Nowadays many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children? (Band 8,5)

QUESTIONS: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.

Too much emphasis is given for education of the young children. Moregovernment money should be spent to free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believ that professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.