There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country

It is a well-established fact that

music

has an essential role in tradition and culture for all human beings.

Moreover

, the diversities in the genre of

music

are seen in 195 countries worldwide. In

this

essay, I would express my opinion that traditional

music

is more important than international

music

. There is a range of beautiful things

music

can do not only to a person but

also

to all kinds of human beings though they come from different nations and speak different languages.

Firstly

, the babies are accompanied by

music

when they are still in the mother’s womb and after birth, mothers still sing lullabies for them to put to sleep.

Furthermore

music

is being utilized for educational purposes to enhance learning.

Additionally

music

is an effective tool for relieving stress, motivating, and entertaining.

This

is probably why people find it hard to get away with

music

even on a daily basis. I am totally convinced that traditional

music

is superior to international

music

which is getting popular nowadays. At

first

, international

music

appears captivating and appealing.

However

, the only reason for the

music

producers is to make money out of those songs.

On the contrary

, traditional

music

comes with meaningful considerations

such

as demonstrating beautiful beliefs, ideas, customs, and

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

of different social groups and countries.

Hence

, it would be a great shame if world

music

takes over and the essence of old songs vanish. To summarise,

music

is needed in every part of human activities, and I would agree that there should be less pop

music

and more spotlight on traditional

music

Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on Thu Sep 08 2022

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emotional release
cultural significance
globalization
cultural exchange
technology
preservation
cultural heritage
social cohesion
expression
consumption
production
traditional music
international music
diversity
identity

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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