Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.
Many
subjects
should be learned in both primary and secondary schools, starting from science, ethics, social knowledge, history, Use synonyms
art
, and Use synonyms
music
. The first four Use synonyms
subjects
are usually the main focus in primary school. Use synonyms
Thus
, students are expected to have more additional courses to learn about Linking Words
art
and Use synonyms
music
outside schools. It is great for pupils to get Use synonyms
experiences
in Fix the agreement mistake
experience
such
Linking Words
subjects
, but I cannot agree if Use synonyms
art
and Use synonyms
music
become an obligation for them to fulfil in order to be graduated. Use synonyms
This
essay will explain some considerations to elaborate on the reasons for my argument.
Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
art
and science are specific skills which are not owned by every single person. They could be learned by anyone for nice to know only, not to be an expert. It could be very stressful for people who do not have talents in those areas to be obliged to study and create things related to them. Talents can be different from one person to another so it is not good to push people to study things they are not into them.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, the future is not only about Linking Words
art
and Use synonyms
music
. There are still a lot of areas that could be explored to be excellent ones, Use synonyms
for example
, science, history, artificial intelligence, and information technology. Linking Words
Besides
giving practical implementation in daily life, those Linking Words
subjects
are quite interesting things to know Use synonyms
due to
the development of modern life nowadays. They Linking Words
also
benefit people for earnings because many recent jobs Linking Words
related
to them.
In conclusion, I Add a missing verb
are related
endorse
students to study and understand many Verb problem
encourage
subjects
in order to enrich their knowledge, but I could not agree if Use synonyms
art
and Use synonyms
music
must be learned as an obligation in school.Use synonyms
Submitted by smart_girgu on
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Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, it would benefit from providing more specific reasons and examples to support the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is adequate, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the essay would benefit from stronger transitions between ideas to improve coherence.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there is a tendency to repeat certain words. Using a wider variety of vocabulary would enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
The essay exhibits a fairly wide range of grammatical structures and demonstrates control of complex sentences. However, there are some errors in subject-verb agreement and tense consistency that could be improved.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.