Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

#students #study #art #music #school #support

Many

subjects

should be learned in both primary and secondary schools, starting from science, ethics, social knowledge, history,

art

, and

music

. The first four

subjects

are usually the main focus in primary school.

Thus

, students are expected to have more additional courses to learn about

art

and

music

outside schools. It is great for pupils to get

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

such

subjects

, but I cannot agree if

art

and

music

become an obligation for them to fulfil in order to be graduated.

This

essay will explain some considerations to elaborate on the reasons for my argument.

Firstly

art

and science are specific skills which are not owned by every single person. They could be learned by anyone for nice to know only, not to be an expert. It could be very stressful for people who do not have talents in those areas to be obliged to study and create things related to them. Talents can be different from one person to another so it is not good to push people to study things they are not into them.

Secondly

, the future is not only about

art

and

music

. There are still a lot of areas that could be explored to be excellent ones,

for example

, science, history, artificial intelligence, and information technology.

Besides

giving practical implementation in daily life, those

subjects

are quite interesting things to know

due to

the development of modern life nowadays. They

also

benefit people for earnings because many recent jobs

Add a missing verb

are related

show examples

to them. In conclusion, I

endorse

Verb problem

encourage

show examples

students to study and understand many

subjects

in order to enrich their knowledge, but I could not agree if

art

and

music

must be learned as an obligation in school.

Submitted by smart_girgu on Thu Sep 08 2022

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Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. However, it would benefit from providing more specific reasons and examples to support the argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is adequate, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, the essay would benefit from stronger transitions between ideas to improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there is a tendency to repeat certain words. Using a wider variety of vocabulary would enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range

The essay exhibits a fairly wide range of grammatical structures and demonstrates control of complex sentences. However, there are some errors in subject-verb agreement and tense consistency that could be improved.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

foster creativity
innovative thinking
emotional well-being
reduce stress
creative expression
cultural awareness
inclusive and diverse society
cognitive development
academic performance
spatial-temporal reasoning
language development
career opportunities
creative industries
contributors to the economy

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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All students should be required to study art and music in secondary school. Use specific reasons to support your answer.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to bring up children? What consequences could this way of parenting pose on children as they get older?

“What are the advantages of getting news online? What are the drawbacks

As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

The friends that children have are a very important part of their lives. What kinds of influence may children's friends have on them? What can parents do to ensure that their children's friends are a good influence on them?

Some student work while studying.This often results in lacking tome for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the cause of this? What solution can yoi suggest?