IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You have just read an article in an international travel magazine which contained some information about your town that is incorrect. Write a letter to editor of magazine Correct the information in article Explain why it is important for magazine to give correct information Suggest what the magazine should do

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Dear Sir or Madam, I have recently read in your international travel magazine, about the information you have given from my town, and may have some insufficiencies.
Overall
Linking Words
, you give many true information about my townland
such
Linking Words
 as the city's architecture, the parks and the central shopping street.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, your opinion about the
zoo
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 finds me and the majority of citizens the opposite. Maybe, you had been visiting the
zoo
Use synonyms
 by the period they renovated them. So that's why most of the animals weren't there and there was construction work. The
zoo
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 is a great spot for families with kids. There are numerous kinds of animals and you can spend a whole day there. I am writing because I strongly believe you have to visit and see the
zoo
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 once again and I am sure you will have the same opinion as me. After that a new article in your magazine must be written, so everybody learns the real situation
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
zoo
Use synonyms
. It is a huge source of income in our community. Thanks in advance for considering that, and hope soon I will read that new article. Yours faithfully, Roger Bruse

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coherence cohesion
The letter generally maintains a logical structure but lacks clear paragraphing that separates the introduction, main body, and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing conventions have been appropriately used which benefits the tone of the letter.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a single focus for each paragraph to enhance readability and organization.
task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that you address all points of the prompt explicitly. While you corrected the information and explained why it's important, expand on the suggestion for the magazine's action.
task achievement
The tone of writing is overall suitable, maintaining an appropriate level of formality for a letter to an editor; however, more formal language could enhance the task achievement score.
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