Studying art in school improves students' performance in other subjects, because it is easier for multi-skilled students to learn new things. That's why art should be obligatory in schools. Do you agree or disagree?
Art
is the most prominent part of community life and art
education
has various of
fields Change preposition
apply
such
as music, theater
, visual arts and dancing. Most people agree that Change the spelling
theatre
art
education
should improve at schools
. it will provide students
many
benefits. In Change preposition
with many
this
essay, I will discuss about
reasons of agree.
It is clear that Remove the preposition
apply
learn
arts at Wrong verb form
learning
schools
helps to
Change preposition
apply
students
enhance their intellectual knowledge such
as decision-making, risk-taking and social skills etc. Extra-curriculum activities
like arts enhance student's
concentration. That way it will help to improve children's academic achievements. Fix the agreement mistake
students'
For instance
, research shows, art
Correct word choice
that art
education
improves students
greater flexibility for multiple Change noun form
students'
student's
task
. Change to a plural noun
tasks
Moreover
, art
education
would aid to attain students
mind relaxation and experience amusement because it contained physical and mental Change noun form
students'
student's
activities
through stimulate
brain functions. I agree at Change the verb form
stimulating
art
education
obligate
Add a missing verb
is obligate
for
academic Change preposition
to
education
and would reduce pressure on main subjects
difficulties.
Change noun form
subjects'
subject's
Furthermore
, without
extra-curriculum Change preposition
apply
activities
at schools
will negatively affect students
mental health because Change noun form
students'
student's
pressure
on Add an article
the pressure
education
system Correct article usage
the education
consequently
, students
would face academic failures. That's why schools
should implement art
education
activities
at schools
.
For example
, research shows, students
Correct word choice
that students
who
Change the pronoun
whom
participant
Replace the word
participate
extra-curriculum
Change preposition
in extra-curriculum
activities
help to reduce depression compared to the one
who did not. That way, Correct pronoun usage
ones
art
education
would stimulate students
personality traits.
In conclusion, after a thorough analysis of the topic, Change noun form
students'
student's
art
education
has a crucial part of students
life because it would enhance creativity, Change noun form
students'
student's
social
skills in Correct word choice
and social
students
life. I agree that Change noun form
students'
student's
art
education
is obligate
Replace the word
obligatory
on
academic Change preposition
for
education
.Submitted by Sasha on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!