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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The world's urgent problem caused by the over population do you agree or disagree

#world #population
It
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is said that
,
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apply
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 in
this
Era
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,Era
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 the biggest threat is
excessive
Add an article
the excessive
an excessive
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 population
in
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apply
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all over the map because
all
Change preposition
of all
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 the other troubles
totally
Add a missing verb
are totally
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 associated with it.
therefore
 I agree with the given notion and will discuss my supporting
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
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 in the subsequent paragraph with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 meaningful conclusion . To embark with, there are
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 reasons to sustain my viewpoint .
the
Correct article usage
apply
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unemployment
increases
 because of
the
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apply
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overpopulation
. to explain it ,as the population
increases
the
Remove the article
apply
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every individual needs a job .
moreover
 ,it is
a
Change the article
apply
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difficult
to
Change preposition
for
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 the government to give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jobs to every person
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
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as a result
 they do not
fullfil
Correct your spelling
fulfil
 their basic
in
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apply
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needs and they may face
the
Correct article usage
a
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 financial crisis.
thus
,
the
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apply
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poverty
increases
 as well .to
site
Correct your spelling
cite
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 an example ,according to the report of India
the
Correct article usage
apply
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56% of
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 face unemployment because of
the
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apply
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overpopulation
. Probing
further
,
the
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deforestation
increases
 due to
the
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apply
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overpopulation
. to commence with ,when the
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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 rise every individual needs their own house because as we live in
this
 Era, no one corporate with each other so ,they cut the trees for built their homes and the
greeb
Correct your spelling
green
 Jungle are converted into concrete once.
last
 but not
Correct article usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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least , as the number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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increases
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
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all over the world they prefer to use their private be
hickle
Change the capitalization
Hickle
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 hands the air pollution and traffic jam rise . To encapsulate, it could be concluded that, it is
a
Correct article usage
apply
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clear from the above mention reasons that the most challenging issue
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is
overpopulation
 not give birth to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution but
also
 other obstacles
such
 as deforestation and unemployment.
Submitted by jaahandeep200018 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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