Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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In the salad days of the millennium, people are striving hard to succeed in life. There are lots of theories available which have different meanings for success.

However

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, society is polarized into two groups almost equally regarding the notion of whether real victory is earning a great amount of money or staying happy.

Nonetheless

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, in the following paragraphs, I

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

shed light on numerous reasons to discuss both views and

then

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present my stance. To commence with the first perspective, there are myriad things to be shared in its favour. First and foremost, wealth allows folks to afford all the luxuries of the world.

For example

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, a person who is getting a handsome amount of income is able to purchase everything which provides him with a sense of joy

such

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as a

brand new

Add a hyphen

brand-new

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Mercedes.

Therefore

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, he does not need to wait or kill desires to fulfil his wishes spontaneously and ultimately

gets

Correct subject-verb agreement

get

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the

Correct article usage

apply

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pleasure.

Moreover

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, getting a good education is

also

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dependent on a greater bank balance.

For instance

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, in

this

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era of inflation, education has become so expensive and if anyone wants to get his children a high level of schooling he must earn a huge number of paper money. Shifting towards the second school of thought, personal happiness is another facet of success.

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Whereas

Correct word choice

This

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this

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can be brought about by a plethora of factors and inner satisfaction can be one of them.

According to

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research conducted in the USA, 80 per cent of humans who are taking less psychological strain, enjoy each and every occasion

which

Correct word choice

that

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they come across and their performances are much better in every aspect as compared to the immensely stressed ones.

Furthermore

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, a genuine win can

also

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be demonstrated in the form of fitness. For illustration, medical research shows that individuals who

are exercising

Wrong verb form

exercise

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on a daily basis are happier because it

succours

Verb problem

encourages

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them to produce positive hormones

due to

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which they are not getting ill frequently and can enjoy a long life and vigorous life. In conclusion, after having discussed the arguments and the counter-arguments, I would like to infer my personal opinion that yielding extra money is the original accomplishment because it can buy people all the things which they want.

Submitted by arsalanfarooqned on Thu Sep 08 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the points you will discuss in the body of the essay. Also, make sure to conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion.

task achievement

While you have addressed both views, it would be beneficial to present a more balanced discussion of each perspective without implicitly favoring one over the other until the conclusion. Additionally, provide more specific examples to support your ideas, and ensure that your response directly answers all parts of the task question.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

370 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Financial success
Personal happiness
Intrinsic measure
Contentment
Fulfillment
Nurturing relationships
Harmonious life
Career achievements
Social recognition
Subjective nature

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Some people believe that success means earning a lot of money. Others believe that success is defined by personal happiness. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

These days, too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle.

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve our mind health, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest our mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

1.You and your brother have decided to go for a holiday but due to some reason, your brother is not able to join you for holiday. Write a letter to your friend to invite him/her for holiday. Give detail plan of vacation. State reason why your brother will not come with you. Invite your friend.