You have been invited to a networking conference for your field of work. Write a letter to your immediate manager. In your letter: • Describe the invitation you received and why it is important to you • Explain why the conference would be beneficial for you and the company • Ask for the company for time off to attend and to cover some of the travel costs

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Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr

The abbreviated title Mr. seems to be punctuated incorrectly. Consider changing the punctuation.

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John, I am writing
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

letter to provide you
information
Change preposition
with information

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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regarding
invitation
Correct article usage
the invitation

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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received to attend the networking conference at Hybrid Company on
24th
Correct article usage
the 24th

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of July. As
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction As. Consider removing the comma.

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this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

conference is important for me because I will learn new skills which assists in my specialization. I have received the invitation as I got
award
Add an article
the award
an award

The noun phrase award seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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best performance in networking
last
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

year from our company.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

seminar will enhance my knowledge which will be useful at
office
Add an article
the office

The noun phrase office seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it would
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

aid
company
Correct article usage
the company

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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by providing the lecture to my team members and other employees who
is
Change the verb form
are

The verb is does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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interested in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

topic. I have to take leave for three days. It is in Sydney,
distance
Correct article usage
the distance

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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is 6 hours from my place. I request
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker if. Consider removing the comma.

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if you can give me off with pay and if possible you can take care of my travelling expenses according to the policy of
organization
Add an article
the organization
an organization

The noun phrase organization seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. I look forward to hearing from you and expect paid leave and travelling
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs

It seems that cost may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Yours Sincerely, Perry

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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