In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinions on this?

Nowadays, in many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
children
use their leisure in paid
work
. Some people are not approving
this
,
on the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
some consider it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a valuable thing. In my point of
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
it is a marvellous
experience
for
children
. I think it will be a great opportunity for
children
to gain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
valuable
work
experience
and it will be very important for learning and taking responsibility. Some people can say it will be a violation of child rights, but I think it will be an immense advantage for a child to enlighten their future. In some
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
Scouts have a week to do some job and earn money to spend to fulfil the requirements of the organisation. By doing these things
children
get
experience
Add an article
the experience
an experience
show examples
of the
socity
Correct your spelling
society
and they learn to take responsibility. In
Thailand
Add a comma
,Thailand
show examples
I saw students
work
in the school coffee shops in their schools. They are taking responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the whole process going on in the coffee shop and they not only learn
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things about the products but
also
gain knowledge about the accounts and marketing side. In conclusion, the gain of
experience
, ability to take responsibilities and learning outcomes are very advanced
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the students who engaged in paid
work
. Because of the above
reasons
Add a comma
,reasons
show examples
I am encouraging the
children
to do some paid
work
as that will be a great investment for
child's
Correct article usage
the child's
show examples
future.
Submitted by isurithilakaratne on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: