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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some believe in enrolling their children into the best schools so that they learn to socialize while others believe that homeschooling is a better option. Discuss both views and where do you stand on this topic?

#believe #children #schools #option #topic
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Parents always try to provide
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 education for their offspring in all ways. Many think that schools assist better future for their kids to become socialize while other
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
 that if children study at home
then
 will gain good skills. In
this
 essay, will discuss both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of
Correct pronoun usage
my views
show examples
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
 and my opinion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with, it is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 choice for students if they study in
school
Add an article
a school
the school
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 environment because social learning is only gained with teachers and friends.
Moreover
, knowledge and skills can be improved in
school
Add an article
the school
a school
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 environment.
For example
, many youngsters make
career
Add an article
a career
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 at
international
Correct article usage
the international
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 level in games if they joined some academies and meet new people who
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 them to choose
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 path.
Furthermore
, it is
also
 included in the syllabus as they can easily learn social behaviour through interacting with
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of students
come
Correct pronoun usage
who come
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 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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several.
On the other hand
, little one always feels comfortable with their guardians. The kids spend most of their time in the house with a mother and father and imitate almost all things from them. So, the old fogies should start teaching
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
socialization to the babies from their house.
For instance
, if the
parental
Replace the word
parents
show examples
 shows how to greet seniors, the young one will learn the importance of greeting.
In addition
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
youngsters should be taught not to discriminate
any
Change preposition
against any
show examples
 member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new friends. In conclusion,
despite
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enrolling in a superior learning institution and teaching in a home both have their own significance. So, I tend to feel socializing through
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 parents
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 the best alternative
instead
 of fully
rely
Wrong verb form
relying
show examples
 on the schools.
Submitted by jasmeetkaur2016 on

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