IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that going to a fitness centre regularly is unnecessary. Instead, they believe that combining occasional exercise (such as going for walks) with a balanced diet is enough to stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #fitness #centre #exercise #diet
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
 modern world, most
people
 should be educated about
fitness
 by considering the intensity of physical activity in their daily life. While many
people
 agree to go to a
fitness
centre
 helps them to stay fit and healthy while others reject
this
 notion. Here are some of my points to support
this
 thesis. There are myriad reasons,
however
, one major point I would like to take into consideration would be the current lifestyle. Most of the
people
 at work are used to less or no physical activity and
in addition
 to that, the food we consume has a negative effect on
people
 becoming obese. Heading to a
fitness
centre
 helps
people
 to sweat out which reduces stress and helps in promoting quality sleep and helps them to stay healthy. On another hand, going regularly to the
fitness
centre
 helps them to start the day with a positive attitude.
For example
, one recent survey suggests that the majority of successful
people
 spend their start of the day at the
fitness
centre
 which helps them to be active throughout the day.
Moreover
, hitting the
fitness
centre
 has numerous advantages to health it helps in reducing the risk of heart attacks and makes
people
 stronger and look in a good shape. To recapitulate, by considering the above explanation one can come to the conclusion and understand the numerous benefits of
fitness
 centres. In my opinion,
people
 should head to
fitness
 centres to lead a healthier lifestyle.
In addition
 to that, the government should promote the positives of the
fitness
 centres and their advantages for health
Submitted by vivekv4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: