IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years.Cause& solutions.

#childhood #obesity #years #cause&
Nowadays, raising kids is very difficult for families and they try to provide everything that their
children
 want until they get satisfied but it issues comes some problems for kids that one of them is childhood obesity. There are some causes for these problems. The
first
 reason is, that parents think that their
children
 have to eat everything until they became strong and fast grow. Families feed them every moment without notice of to correct time.
Also
, they permission that their
children
 to eat junk food, soda, and fast food which is very bad for their health. All of these subjects make inordinate fatness. In ,addition there are some solutions to
this
 problem.
First
,
children
 should exercise every day. They can go to the gym or at home and do exercise. Parents, have to check up on their healthy bodies with doctors and
also
 nutritionists for the type of their eating. Avoid bad habits
such
 as eating lately, waking late, and eating junk food. In conclusion, adults with make some rules for their
children
 and notice their health can have good kids.
Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: