IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Which opinion do you agree with? Discuss both options and give examples

Nowadays it is argued by a certain section of people that having domestic pets is good for a minor population, whilst others think that it is risky and unhealthy. In
this
Linking Words
 context as far as I am concerned, I would agree with the first opinion.
This
Linking Words
 statement will elaborate on both options
along with
Linking Words
 examples.
Firstly
Linking Words
, having a
pet
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as a dog or a cat in a house brings happiness, peace, and security to the family. As the targeted audience in
this
Linking Words
 context
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 children, having a domestic
pet
Use synonyms
 gives a
child
Use synonyms
 to act responsibly.
For example
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, when a
child
Use synonyms
 gets bullied in school and
no
Add a missing verb
has no
show examples
 one to communicate about it, they come home and talk to their
pet
Use synonyms
, as they treat the
pet
Use synonyms
 as their companion.
This
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 supports the
child
Use synonyms
 mentally and physically as well.
Secondly
Linking Words
, as for the latter opinion, there are risks of having a
pet
Use synonyms
 as well,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 I believe that
this
Linking Words
 can be controlled by giving the necessary vaccinations to the
pet
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, cats always find a way to sneak out of the house. It can carry contaminated bacterial creatures on them or rabies from the surrounding which could lead to a type of disease in the
child
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe regardless of the danger and unhealthy of keeping a
pet
Use synonyms
 can be always controlled and maintained by providing the necessary treatments. The core objective is that it supports the
child
Use synonyms
 to be independent, supportive, be responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their own work
as well as
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them be healthy physically and mentally.

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. Start by addressing the prompt directly to set the tone for the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using transition words and phrases. This will make the essay easier to follow and understand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • companion
  • responsibility
  • care
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • social skills
  • transmit
  • diseases
  • allergies
  • safety risks
  • time
  • effort
  • money
  • mature
  • handle
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