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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some say that new homes should be constructed in existing cities while others argue that new towns should be built (advantages/disadvantages)

#say #homes #cities #towns
Many people think that houses have to be built in the
cities
 already done while others believe that new
cities
 should
Correct your spelling
be
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by
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be
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constructed
Change the form of the verb
construct
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.
firstly
,the benefits regarding construction in existing
cities
 are many like it makes
cities
 larger and bigger which means more facilities and services
such
 as public
transpot
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transport
,infrastructure projects and investment.
also
Add a comma
,also
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 it increases the chance to find jobs that are difficult to find in small
cities
.Disadvantages may be like the city become more crowded which means more pollution and noise.
therefore
,increase in the
percent
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per cent
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 of people migrating from the crowded
cities
 to the
counterside
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countryside
 has been noticed in the recent years .people in crowded
cities
 are always
inpatient
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impatient
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 and aggressive and there will be no enough spaces for social facilities as parks.it always takes
along
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a long
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 time to reach a place in large
cities
 due to traffic.
On the other hand
building
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,building
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 new
cities
also
has
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have
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 positives and
negatives
.positives like the designation of new towns is often modern and less harmful to the environment.it
also
 makes the population in the
Correct your spelling
existing
exisiting
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existing
cities
 decrease.
negatives
 can be the decline in the agricultural areas and the damage to the environment by construction.
also
Add a comma
,also
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 more money will be spent on infrastructure and other projects
already
Correct pronoun usage
that already
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exists
Change the verb form
exist
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 in old
cities
 in conclusion,construction in the existing
cities
 has benefits and
negatives
 while making new
cities
also
 has positives and
negatives
 and by taking the advantages regarding both in combination we can reach the best result which makes our life easier and more comfortable and sustain the environment clean for the
next
 generations
Submitted by mustafa_dervis on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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