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Band 5.5

Research shows that some activities are good for health and othe are bad.Desapite knowing that millions of people engange in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Investigation and analysis of
activities
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 , that affect the health of
people
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 in both positive and negative ways, are made.
However
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 ,
people
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 keep their involvement in
such
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activities
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 , even if they are aware of the detrimental effects it has on their lives.
This
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 essay will explain two main reasons ,
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first
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 , a company of bad
people
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 and
second
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 , addiction to harmful
activities
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 are explained.
In addition
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 to that , the essay explains the actions that could be taken to prevent or lower the rate of
people
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 engaging in negative
activities
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 , too. The
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first
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reason
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 is , to keep engaging our lives with the
people
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 that do unhealthy
activities
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 on regular basis.Unhealthy
activities
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 include smoking , chewing
tobacco
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, eating junk food in more amounts etc.The list of ill
activities
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 goes on.
For example
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 ,a
person
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first
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 gets in touch with and
then
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 befriends
people
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 who do
such
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activities
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 .
This
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 leads to that
person
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 just trying that task once eventually
person
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 starts doing that activity on daily basis.To be more clear , when a
person
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 does not smoke or chew
tobacco
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, if he befriends smokers or
tobacco
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 chewers , he will become one of them soon provided , he stays with them regularly. The
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first
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reason
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 leads to the
second
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reason
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 which is explained in the following paragraph. The
second
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reason
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 is the addiction to
activities
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 that affect
people
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's lives negatively.Addictions make
people
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 paralyzed in the brain.
For instance
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 , a
person
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 can not think about how detrimental chemicals he takes in his lungs when he smokes or chews
tobacco
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.When someone tries to make him understand
such
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 things , they may not co-operate , rather may insult
people
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 who try to mould them.What steps could be taken to gain control over
such
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 a situation are explained in the paragraph below. As the saying goes , prevention is better than cure , any
person
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 should be made aware of any activity that will cause harm to his health when he has just stepped into it.The circumstances , where a
person
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 has already become addicted, should be given medical help . If needed help from psychologists should be provided , too.A
person
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's family members play a key role in
this
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.Government should do campaigns to spread awareness. In the end , the reasons why
people
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 keep involving themselves in
activities
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 that are detrimental to health care , friendships of
people
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 doing
such
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 tasks and addictions to
such
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activities
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.
Nonetheless
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 ,
such
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 situations can be avoided by the participation of family and government.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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