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Writing Samples
Band 3

Obesity was once considered a disease of adults; however, it is becoming increasingly common among children. Why do you think this is happening? What can be done to help children stay healthy?

#obesity #disease #adults #children
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Having a higher cholesterol level has often been related to
as
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apply
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Add an article
an
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adult disease,
nevertheless
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,nevertheless
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 the disease is becoming rampant among the young.While others attribute
this
 to poor diet,children must be introduced to a healthy dietary plan and supplements. Most
at
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apply
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times,
parent
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parents
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 do not check the dietary needs of their kids unless the
the
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apply
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child suffers an
Correct your spelling
element
ailment
illment
Correct your spelling
illness
.
This
 is because
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 themselves lack certain information about
the
Change the word
their
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 dietary needs.
For instance
 when a mother
feed
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feeds
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 their children
with
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apply
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bad calories and junk
food
 but does not know
this
 can contribute to obesity the child will suffer.
Also
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,Also
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 Some families
serves
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serve
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food
 to every other person in the family because of
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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 of money. each member of the family needs special dietary supplements at each given point
of
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in
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 their lives. When there's no money ,
dietary
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the dietary
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 needs of each member will be disregarded.
However
,
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the parent
a parent
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parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 must be enlightened about their
Correct your spelling
children's
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
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 health whenever they have an appointment through health education concerning nutrition and diet.
In as
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As
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 much as
Add an article
a resource
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resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
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 for
food
 may not be
Enough
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enough
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,guardians must plan judiciously to include certain vital nutrients which are available in less costly
food
 like eggs,milk,spinach, salmon, broccoli,lentils ,
legumes
Correct word choice
and legumes
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 which are cheap but highly nutritious. In summary,the
parent
 must be well informed about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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what their wards take in and
also
 include more important nutrients
into
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in
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 what they feed their children.
Submitted by sarfo.asiedu1 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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